Hand of Sorrow
by Luckie D
Summary: It's not easy being the primary on a case that is close to the heart, but an accident while sitting on their number one suspect makes it all the more troubling. SVU AU
1. Chapter 1

**Who's ready for some angst!? I sure am and wanting to shove someone into the hospital and play the blame games. Disclaimer: Maria is my own creation. Munch, Benson, Tutuola, Stabler, Cragen and a possible few others belong to Law and Order: SVU. Title is a song title by Within Temptation. Other such names/places/roads/locations are figments of my own kooky imagination.**

Endless hours of staring at crime scene photos and evidence that had been collected was not bringing the case any closer to closing. Five year old Gloria Smithson was still in the hospital, sedated into a coma, and the chance of her waking from it where not looking any better as the days went on. The coffee maker was working over time, the crib had basically become a crash pad for all on the case, and the primary detective on the case was downing more pain killers for her growing migraine.

Rubbing her temples with her index fingers and groaning in exhaustion, Maria Frank opened her sore eyes and her first sight was her file. "C'mon Gloria...what are you not telling me, sweetie," She whispered to herself, in hopes her plea would be answered.

"Got a call from the hospital," Cragen's voice caused his people to raise their exhausted heads from what they were doing. "Gloria Smithson's brain function is failing drastically. If she dies before we catch our suspect, _Frank_, the charge with be changed from assault to first degree murder." His eyes locked on Maria's frowning face, not liking how he had empathized her last name. Standing over to her desk and lowering his voice for her to only hear, Don made another point clear. "I had removed this case from Stabler for a reason, Detective. Do I need to remind you why I chose_ you_ do to this case, with Munch as your partner?"

"No, _sir_."

"Good," He stood back up and raised his voice once again. "What do we have to catch our suspect, people?" The little girl's step father, Dean Kurn, was their number one suspect in the case as a hair strand that did not below to her mother, biological father, nor her baby sitter had been found among her clothes. "What do we have that points to Dean?"

"He's been avoiding all questions we have tossed at him, even acting cool when we showed him the pictures of his step daughter." Fin spoke up, to save Maria from another verbal beat down. "His lawyer had us toss out the DNA evidence we had collect to match to the hair. It didn't match up by three points and we were forced to let him go."

"So, what are we going to do now?"

Standing up and grabbing for her file, Maria stood before the board and scanned what they had, including what road Gloria had been found on - five blocks from her step father's house. "I'm done playing cat and fucking mouse with this putz." Frowning and grinding her teeth in frustration, Maria pounded the board with her fist. "We're going to sit on him-"

"The guy's more paranoid then you and Munch put together, Frank," Elliot interrupted. "He'll figure out that we'll be watching him and he'll file for harassment."

Maria's head turned around and stared at him with a dangerous look. "I _wasn't_ done talking, Detective Stabler." She hissed out, wanting to bite him where it would hurt. "Are you doubting my skills about how I'm running this case?"

Elliot Stabler heaved out a sigh and avoided looking into her partner's glaring eyes. "No, ma'am."

"Good. Now, as I was saying, we are going to sit on him and this is how we are going to do it." A dangerous smile tugged over her lips as she reached for a permanent marker from John Munch desk, took a hold of a plain piece of paper and started to doodle her plan. "Okay, Stabler, Benson and I will be watching his house on foot. You," she pointed at John, "and Fin are going to be in an unmarked car and hiding in the shadows of the large oak tree that sits right here." She marked a spot on the paper. "As of right now, I'm planning for us to do this in a few days - highly tomorrow night - but I would like us to have a full night's rests for this stake out."

"Is this the full plan?" Cragen asked, watching her hand work fast with the picture she was drawing up.

"Not fully, but this plan will be done when I say when we do this." She stated firmly, showing she was in charge. "Work for you, Cap?"

"You're the primary, Frank. Before you head home from your shift, I want you and Munch to stop by the hospital and talk with the mother, but don't let her know what we are doing."

"I wouldn't dream of it, sir."

---------------

"Elliot would have never came up with that idea like you had," John Munch commented, trying to keep up with her quick strides. Some days, she would have to jog to keep up with him, but today...he had to move fast to keep up with her. "He'd beat and choke the suspect to almost unconscious to get what he wanted." Making sure they had the right car, John slipped into the driver's seat and waited for Maria to get in beside him.

"That's because I don't see killing the guy getting me any closer to getting my confession."

"You're just trying to _slip_ your way around getting the right confession." He gave her a wink as he started to car up and headed in the direction of hospital.

Maria turned her head to look at him, a small smile on her lips. "Was that a secretly hidden sex reference I just caught?" John smiled for the first time in days and nodded. "You're terrible sometimes."

"That's why you love me, babe." He continued to smile at her, observing her carefully as her smile faded and turned her head to watch people outside. "What did Cragen tell you earlier?"

"He was wondering if he had to remind me of why I'm on that case and not Stabler." Her hand moved up to pinch the bridge of her nose and squeezed her eyes shut to stop her headache. "I haven't slept properly in five days, but I swear this migraine has been stalking me for seven days instead."

"I didn't know you had one," Concern rose in his voice, his face etched in worry. "How bad are they?"

"Bad, but I'm a tough girl." She stretched her arms over her head and yawned. "I've taken all pain killers known to man kind, but I think the only cure for it is the close this case."

John pondered of what he could do to help her before speaking again. "How about some few hours rest in the crib?"

"Tried that...they need to get some new sheets and blankets in there."

"Why didn't you tell me?" His voice rose a notch, upset that she didn't make any notion to tell him she was in pain. Seeing her grimacing from his tone, he reached out and smoothed his hand over her thigh. "I'm sorry my voice rose, but I don't like seeing you in pain."

"I know... I'm sorry, John." Her hand moved over his and grasped his fingers. "I've been stuck with this case in my head and I just couldn't find the right time to tell you."

Passing by their favorite coffee stop on weekday mornings, John Munch released a heavy sigh and offered up another suggestion. "How about a coffee when we go back to the house?"

"I'm tired of coffee right now. I've had enough coffee at work to grow enough mold to last me a life time." John shot her a serious look. "Oh, how about this... when we come back from the hospital, how about a chocolate egg cream drink instead of a coffee?"

"Make it a deal that you'll promise me you'll take a few hours rest in the crib? I can loan you my extra blanket that's in my locker that I brought from my place. " He turned his head to her while they were at a stop light. "It's won't make you itch like the ones in the crib."

"Deal. Going home anyway, so I'll get a small nap, finish up my work, clock out and go home." Maria winked in his direction and promised to herself to seal their deal with a kiss when they weren't in public. Once the light had turned green and the traffic started moving again, they both sat in silence until they had reached the hospital. "Going to come up with me or stay here? This is only going to take a few minutes at the most."

Getting out and walking over to her side to hold the door open, he made it clear he was going in with her. "After you, my dear." Quietly making their way to the second floor and softly knocking on the door, the mother of the five year old Victim opened the door.

Seeing her face tear stained and her light colored eyes red from crying, Maria wondered if it was a bad time, but it was too late to leave now."Mrs. Smithson?"

"Yes?"

"I'm Detective Frank and this is my partner, Sergeant Munch. Would you mind if we come in?" Keeping with the feel of the case, Maria kept an low tone and her face relaxed from it's sternness to a concerned expression.

Stepping aside to allow them in and closing the door, Mrs. Smithson returned back to her vigil spot beside her daughter's small bed. "You can sit where you find comfortable," Her hoarse voice sounded small, her hand waving to a few open spots to sit. "I still don't quite understand the need for all these tubes and meters to be connected to my daughter. It's terrifying me, detectives."

"I understand that this is difficult, Mrs. Smithson. I really do," Frank sat down on the edge of the bed and placed a comforting hand on the woman's shoulder. "There isn't much that I can say about your daughter's case, but have you received any threatening phone calls over the past few days."

"I haven't checked my home phone messages at all, but I haven't received anything on my cellphone." She blood shot eyes darted between the two. "Why? Is Dean threatening my life as well?"

"I can't say any more then that, but it was to turn that way, we would have a few uniformed officers watching your place and here. But, since it's not turning out that way, I'm just here to check up on your daughter and to find out if you have received any calls."

Mrs. Smithson stood up and walked over to the window, watching a fine layer of rain fall lightly on the buildings. "The doctors came in here, poked her legs, her arms, and then did more work on her brain function. My daughter is _dying_, detectives, and there is _nothing_ I can do about _it_!" She snapped out her words, turning to look at the them, seeing the concern and worry on their faces. "Gloria is never going to reach her sixth birthday, never going to experience first grade and..." The distraught mother leaned against the wall and slide to the floor, crying into her hands. "I just want the bastard who harmed my daughter to be caught and to be hung by his balls."

----------------------

"That went very well," John quipped, slipping into the driver's seat and waited until Maria buckled herself in before starting it up."Want that Chocolate Egg Cream now?"

"Mind if I slip some vodka into it to forget that melt down?" Maria bit out, her arms crossed across her chest. "There are a few things that I hate about this job and it's children and watching the parents crumble before me when I can't say any more then what they have to know." Feeling her anger rising, Maria slammed the dashboard with the heel of her hand. "_Jesus dammit to Hell_!"

"_Easy_!" John reached a hand over and took a hold of her wrist. "Easy, baby." Steering with one hand and keeping a firm hold of her wrist, John pulled over into a free spot near the coffee shop and waited until her breathing steady before releasing her hand. "Shhh... It's okay to be upset, Maria, but don't break your hand in the process." Taking her hand in both of his and carefully massaging the heel of her hand, he lowered his voice and made sure she was paying attention. "I know this case is bothering you - it's bothering all of us - and if you want to take your anger on the dashboard, be my guest. But first, promise me that you'll go home tonight, I don't care which apartment, and get some sleep. I know you've been bunking out in the crib and your nursing that migraine, but you need some real sleep tonight."

"So, I'm suppose to go and lay down in the crib when we get back and then go to which ever apartment I choose to get a full night's sleep? I swear to God-"

"Don't get _smart_ with me, Maria Frank," John's warning tone made her withdraw a little from him. "I'm serious about this. You have not slept in three days, you have a migraine, all you have drank is coffee, you haven't eaten and you're getting snippy with me." Maria looked away from him and bit down on her bottom lip, fighting her emotions that had been wanting to get out since day one. "Just let it out, Maria. Cry if you want to cry," his voice broke slightly, watching her fighting what she wanted to release.

Inhaling a ragid sigh and letting it out to steady herself, Maria turned to look at him and slowly said, "Let's just go in, grab something to eat, sit and talk about anything else besides this." John's serious expression didn't change. "'Kay?"

"You're going to eat something?"

"Yes and it'll be more then a bagel," She held up her index finger and pulled his transitions down his nose, getting a good look of his eyes. "Feel better?"

"Much," His facial muscles relaxed and he smiled at her, telling himself once they were no longer in the public's eye to give her a kiss of reassurance. Taking a seat farthest from the door, John ordered himself a coffee and Brisket sandwich while Maria ordered that Chocolate Egg Cream she wanted badly and a fish sandwich with fries. "It's been a while since you've had a fish sandwich, hasn't it?"

"Yeah... it hard to find places that make _great_ ones that please me," She inspected the glass placed before her and took a small sip. "And it's hard to find a place that makes this good of a drink."

"I have an idea for this weekend," John lowered his voice and leaned forward. "You and me on an emergency date."

"An 'emergency date'?" Maria's dark eyebrows shot up into her bangs. "How come? Normally you don't take me out on one unless it's for something special or you want to spend time with me outside of the office."

"We just need to spend some time together and I think a nice dinner and expensive wine might just help us." He resisted holding her hand and, instead, moved his foot to nudge her foot carefully. "What do you think?"

"What kind of place?"

"It's not located in the city, so we can be as close as possible," His voice was barely a whisper and a sly smile tugged at his lips. "C'mon, what do you think?" Going quiet once the server returned with their food, John gave her his best pleading look that always broke her down. "Please?"

Flattening her palms on the table top and leaning back in her seat, Maria nudged his foot back and said gently, "'Kay, sure. I'd love to go on this emergency date with you, John. This weekend?"

"Yep, I've planned it all out, but I haven't made reservations yet and I'm not going to until Friday afternoon." He took a bite of his sandwich and watched Maria rearrange her lettuce before biting into her's. "Once I'm certain we have Saturday off, I'll get it all set up."

"Cool, sounds like something I can look forward to," Maria gently pushed back at his foot, hoping he got her unsaid notion of 'I love you more. Got it?' Leaning forward and lowering her voice even more, she carefully spoke to him to get a few things clear. "I'm sorry for how I had been acting with this case and I certainly didn't mean to take my tone and anger on you or the car. It was really immature of me to do that to you and for me to do it in front of you-"

"It's all right, Maria," He looked around and seeing that no one was looking in their direction, his hand skimmed over her's. "What can I do to make you relax?"

"Besides the obvious?"

"Yes."

Sighing and placing what was left of one part of her sandwich, she pulled out her pen and wrote something down on her napkin. Sliding it to him and her eyes watched him open the napkin, holding it so no one else would see.

_All right. Fine. Tonight, before I crash in bed, you are more then welcome to rub the tension from my shoulders, back... what ever you want to rub to get it out of me so I can get some sleep tonight. You can decide for that to happen before or after the obvious._

Folding it and sticking it in his pocket, John nodded and gave her a small wink. "Okay, that I can do." He motioned for two carry out boxes and carry out cups for their drinks.

------------------

After following up on their deal and crashing in the crib for an hour, Maria snuggled deeply into the blanket John loaned her. Deeply inhaling the familiar smell that she loved too much and allowing her mind to shut off for a small moment, Maria drifted into dreamless sleep.

"Where's Maria hiddin' now?" Fin asked as his partner, watching him slip into his chair. "Please, tell me she's gettin' some shut eye..."

"And I finally got her to eat something, too."

"How long is she going to be out?"

"Her mind is an alarm clock that I am not even able to shut off... she'll be up in exactly an hour." He tapped his watch to make his point. "If I could find the off switch on her internal alarm clock, I would so she can sleep for the rest of the day and night. If I could shut it off, I'd carry her to the car and drive her to my place, which is closer, so she doesn't have to get up."

"Well, when you two had left, I did some more digging on the step father of the victim."

"And?"

"He's got a record as long as your bony self - times two, Munch." He handed him the record file and John's dark eyes scanned over the amount of assaults, rapes, murders the man had committed. "How did the wife...?" John shook his head and placed the file back on Fin's desk. "I can't understand some women. Let me guess - Dean Kurn isn't his real name."

"Nope, it's Phil Dunker. He's been in and out of prison and was allowed free on 'good behavior'." Fin rolled his eyes and closed the file. "He's as sleazy as they can get."

"That's just sick."

Both men turned around and saw Maria standing there, pulling her hair back into a short ponytail. "In and out of prison because of 'good behavior'? What? He sleeping with the female guards and bribes the male guards?"

"What are you doing up?" John glanced at his watch and let out a frustrated sigh. "You were asleep for half an hour!"

Maria shrugged and picked up the file. "Something told me that something was up. So.... here I am." Her eyes locked onto John's, the stern expression on his face didn't make her back down. "Oh, well... I'm clocking out in fifteen and heading home. I'm tired of doing over time and I have the plan settled for the stake out on his place." Turning and seeing Cragen standing there, motioning her to come into his office. "And Daddy's not looking happy."

"So, your plan is set, correct?" Cragen asked, closing his door once she sat down.

"Yes and it's going under way tomorrow night." Maria watched him sit in his chair, watching her carefully. "Unless you suggest something different."

"You're the primary, Frank. Like I said, what ever the plan is, you set it up." He folded his hands together and they stared at each other as if trying to read each other's minds. "Go home, Maria. Have John take you home, have dinner and come in tomorrow bright and early for your shift."

"I was going to do that anyway, sir," She punctuated her sentence with a sigh, her arms crossing. "I was going to clock out within ten minutes anyway."

"Good, now get going."

**To be continued...**


	2. Chapter 2

Following Cragen's orders and the deal she had made with John, they headed to her apartment right after clocking out. Unlocking her door and stepping into her semi dark apartment, Maria was greeted by her only cat and apartment watch pet. A few months back, Maria had gifted her nutty white cat she had found a few years ago to a little girl down the hall. Considering her other cat was temperamental, she kept the crazy black feline.

Hearing John close the door and set her alarm, she closed her eyes and leaned against him once his arms wrapped around her waist. "Relax, Maria. Just relax," He whispered into her ear, his breath against her neck. "You need to relax for me, baby." He moved one arm from around her waist and placed it flat against her back. "What would you like first?"

Tipping her head back and looking at him, seeing how much he cared behind his glasses. "You pick instead." He tipped his head towards where her bedroom was located and allowed her to gradually leave his arms. "Be in soon?"

"I will be," He replied softly. "Go lay down and I'll be in shortly."

Kicking her shoes off and laying flat on her bed, Maria stared at the ceiling and contemplated about her plan for tomorrow. _Will it go well? Will they get a chance to arrest Dean or Phil or what ever his name is? _Feeling her tension rising the more she thought about it, Maria sat up and gripped the edge of the bed. Inhaling deep breaths to steady her nerves again, a hand on her shoulder made her jump. "Jesus..."

"Easy, baby. It's just me," His fingers traced up and down her back as he leaned over and kissed behind her ear. "Easy now." His hands moved to her shoulders and rubbed them firmly, hearing her groan at the feeling of him kneading her tension. Motioning her to turn away from him just a little to get more access to her back and shoulders, he leaned forward and whispered calming words into her ear.

Closing her eyes and concentrating on his hands and voice, Maria allowed her tears to finally fall for the first time in days. Streaming down her face and falling onto her shirt, John's arms wrapped protectively around her and held her close to his body. Being gently rocked side to side, Maria turned her neck to look at John, her lips inches from his. Closing the distance between them, John gave her what she really wanted and more. Laying her down on her back and kissing away her tears, John coaxed her to calm down and relax while his fingers ran through her hair. Feeling his hand travel down her chest to her stomach, Maria couldn't help but wiggle a little and smile when his fingers grazed over a ticklish spot. "There's that smile I love to see," He whispered before dipping his head, brushing his tongue over her neck scar.

Sighing in content, Maria's arms wrapped around his neck and pulled him back down for a deep, lingering kiss until the need for air was great. "John?" Her lips connected with his jaw and moved down to his throat.

"Yes?" His arms were shaking with anticipation of what she wanted and the effort of staying above her at the same time wasn't helping. Laying the lower part of his body down on her, he leaned into her gentle touch, longing to just get themselves out of their clothing.

Her fingers slowly toyed with the buttons of his shirt and a seductive smile formed on her face. Caressing what her fingers could reach beyond his shirt, John couldn't take much of it anymore and kissed her with endless passion.

Releasing all tension and fear from the past three days, both made love long before the sun had set.

* * *

Waking with a start and fumbling to see the clock, John squinted his eyes and saw it said _1:46_ in the morning. Reaching for the arm that was draped over his bare waist, he rolled slightly on his back and saw Maria was still out cold beside him, her even breaths telling him so. Feeling his stomach grumbling in hunger, John carefully sat up, tucked the comforter under her to keep her warm and shrugged on his robe. Opening the door to her fridge, his eyes scanned the shelves of her partially empty fridge. _Gotta remember to go shopping later this week, _he thought, grabbing for the container from the coffee shop they had stopped at earlier. Opening it to see it was leftovers of his brisket sandwich, he popped it into the microwave and reheated it for a few minutes.

Sitting at her dining table, John's mind traveled back to their love making and wondered where her taste for something rougher then what they usual did came from. Maria had never been one for rough sex, but something had ticked in her mind and the slightly visible bite mark on his thigh proved it. Not that it hurt, but he had never seen her that straight forward about wanting it rougher. _Something else is bothering her. I know it, but she won't-_

"John? You out here?" She peeked around the corner to see him sitting there and a serious expression on his face. Tightening her robe around herself and slowly walking out of the bedroom, her voice softly slightly and asked, "Something wrong?"

Forcing a small smile, John shook his head while she sat down at the table beside him. "No, just wondering back and trying to think of...," Pausing and sitting back in his chair, his expression softened and came forward with it. "I'm just going to come straight about this - I know you and I know what makes you hot and heavy." Maria's face went slightly pink and bit down on her bottom lip. "But, what I didn't know was the ticking time bomb in your head and it must have gone off when you bit me and wanted it rough."

"I'm sorry about that," Maria apologized and leaned forward. "First off, I hope I didn't hurt you when I did and second... you're right." John's hands took a hold of her's and showing he had his full attention on her. "It's not just this case that has had me all bent out of shape... it was all the cases this month. Every single one have been gritty and awful and I've been keeping it bottled up. I wanted it rougher then we have ever done it before, John. I wanted to feel _something_ more then just the normal pleasure and I didn't tell you."

"It's all right... I was just a little concerned when your teeth made contact with my thigh and you bit down. It didn't hurt," He added quickly when her eyes showed concern, "It just shocked me, that's all." He brought her hand to his face and lightly kissed her knuckles. "If you want it different on rough days, let me know. I never did anything rough with you because I didn't want you have flashbacks."

"I'm getting better with that, John. I trust you and you know that." Maria caressed his face gently and smiled when he leaned against her hand. "I always have and I trust you with every little issue that comes to me, be it a case or something personal." Her thumb gently rubbed his bottom lip and tilted her head slightly to one side. "I'm glad that I have you around all the time."

"I am, too," John whispered back, taking her hand and stood back up. Placing his plate into the sink and walking in the direction of the bedroom, John removed her robe and laid her back down on the bed. "Let's get some sleep for now, okay? We have a big day tomorrow."

* * *

The office clock read a steady _5:12 _in the evening and Maria's nerves were shot once again. From the time they went back to bed to when her alarm went off, she had tossed and turned the majority of the night. Not even being held close to John didn't help. And here she was - checking her two Glocks she always carried, made sure they were well oiled and cleaned before slipping them back into her holsters. Considering the days were getting shorter and darker faster, the plan to sit on Dean Kurn/Phil Dunker was going underway at the stroke of six.

Sitting at her desk and her palms flat on her desk, Maria closed her eyes and inhaled slow breaths to steady herself. _You can do this. You've done shit before and this isn't any different. Everyone will be wearing Kevlar vests just in case and everything is going to be just fine. _

"Frank! My office."

_Dammit! _Cragen had once again called her to his office. This was becoming a normal habit between the two of them and it was getting on her nerves. Seeing John giving her a concerned glance, she stood and walked back into his office. "What's up, boss?"

"Are you sure everything is all set for this evening?"

She nodded firmly. "I do. I have plans for Kevlar vests and for us to be in contact at all times."

"In the unmarked car, who's going to be driving?"

"John offered to be at the wheel and they are going to be parked in the shadows of a large maple tree across the street from the suspect's house. The home owner next door is willing to allow me to hide on his property - I talked to him a week ago - and Stabler and Benson will be watching from the other next door house and the house in the back."

"Good," Don sat down in his chair, motioning for her to do the same. "Kevlar vests for a precaution?"

"Yes, I'm not taking any chances in case something goes wrong. They all checked over their weapons to make sure they are ready and well cleaned in case we have to use them. I'm not taking any fucking chance of this guy getting away from me the second time, Cap."

"I know. I was there when he was released-"

"And I took my attitude on the punching bag in the basement instead of on the wall." She stood up, her hands braced on his desk and her green eyes glaring at him. "I get it - who asked you to tail me?"

Don Cragen leaned back in his chair and folded his fingers. He had seen her temper before and knew how to dance around it. "IAB... They are questioning this case because we lost our main suspect and, since you are the primary, going back after him."

"They are worried if I'm _violating_ his _rights_?!" Her voice rose enough to alarm the four other detectives, who were still at their desks. "_What fucking rights does that man have_?" She was practically yelling, her temper fully loaded.

"I didn't want IAB involved because I trust your ability, but they demanded to check this case over!" He stood up and stared her down until she sat back down. He waited a few moments until she relaxed to continue. This time, his calmed his voice and sat down on top of his desk. "I didn't want to, Maria, but I couldn't stop them. They handed all their information about their snooping on my lap and I couldn't stop them."

"So, what am I suppose to do?"

"Keep going on this case and don't let this information stop you."

"Fine," She sighed heavily and stood up, ready to leave his office. "Is that it?"

"Yes, and don't tell them," He nodded in the direction outside of his office. "They have no need to know this before heading out. Got it?"

"Got it."

**To be continued-**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Gone through a fixed a fair amount of things - simple things. Different health conditions now. heh**

Fin moved in his sitting position to get a clear look at the suspect's house. "Any idea how long we're going to sit here?" He asked his car companion, Sergeant John Munch, who was sitting in the driver's seat, peering through a pair of binoculars.

"No clear idea... It's all up to Maria of when we turn in," He replied, putting down his binoculars. "And also up to watch Cragen says." He turned his head and shared a look with the dark skinned man beside him. "Don's been pushing her hard with this case and she's been taking it out on certain things."

Fin's dark eyes glanced at him in concern and said, "Is she taking it out on you?" Fin knew fully well that John would _never_ lay a hurtful finger on Maria, but he sometimes wondered about her. The normally quiet woman did have a rough streak when it came to hard cases and hard times and he had seen her take it out on windows, bathroom stalls, her own desk and even the pouching bag in the basement.

"No... well," he paused a moment to figure how to word it. "Last night - and don't judge me on this - she...bit my thigh." He kept his eyes straight ahead and couldn't even look at his friend. He had told Fin many things, including the most private of affairs, but he had feared what he would say about their intentions last night.

Fin stared at him, stunned by what he said. "She _bit_ your_ thigh_? I knew that girl is tough, but to do that to you?" He shook his head in disbelief. "Unbelievable."

John sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Yeah, I know. Last night, while we were getting intimate, she wanted a change, but she didn't tell me."

"She wanted it _rough_?"

"Yes, but she didn't say and bit my thigh as her way of telling me." He raised his binoculars again and watched the house carefully, since the lights came on. "It didn't hurt, but she's normally straightforward about these kinds of things."

"Hm," Fin huffed softly, tilting his head slightly to see the house clearly. "And looks like he came home."

"It sure does," John grabbed for the walkie to check up with the others. "Did anyone else see the lights come on?"

"Sure did," Elliot replied from his hiding spot.

"Got that," Olivia spoke up.

"Saw him walk in... he has a lady with him." Maria spoke up quietly, considering her position. "No car, so they must have walked or were dropped off at the corner."

Olivia peered around the wide tree was hiding behind and held the walkie close to her mouth. "Did the woman go in willingly?"

"Looked like it, but I wouldn't be surprised if he threaten her."

All was quiet in the neighborhood and in the car while they listened and concentrated on their target's house. Shifting her position once her knees started to burn, Maria moved to both knees and cursed the dry bench Elliot got to sit on while he was scouting out his position. "Hey Frank?" Fin's voice came over the walkie and snapping her out of her concentration.

"Hey what?"

"I just saw movement in the front window and it didn't look friendly."

"Wha-" An ear piercing scream from the house alarmed the detectives, causing Frank to yell, "move in," to Stabler and Benson and warning the boys to stay put in the car. Pulling her weapon out and moving to the front of the house, Frank watched Stabler duck behind a tree as Phil emerged from the house and yanked the woman out with him. "Phil! Don't move!"

He quickly turned around and fired in her direction, running in the opposite direction. Giving the go ahead to chase him on foot, she motioned to the unmarked for them to scan the neighborhood. The black vehicle took off with only its red and blue light flashing. "I want constant communication from everyone. Clear?"

Getting a reply from all on pursuit, they started sprinting around the quiet neighborhood and listening for the any sounds of the woman and their suspect. A female yelp a few streets down alarmed Stabler and Benson to run in the direction in time to see Phil pushing the woman over a brick fence before leaping over it himself. "He just jumped over a fence onto fifth street!" Benson whispered into the walkie, Stabler carefully moving to look over the fence in case he was there and waiting for a head to peek over.

"Get over that fence!" Maria sternly snapped, motioning a young man to get back into his house for safety. "We can't let him go, not with that woman with him."

"Working on it," Stabler replied from the background, pushing himself over the fence and telling Benson to go around in case he back tracked. "This isn't what I had wanted this evening..." Elliot quipped, landing on the other side and waving to a mother to get her daughter back inside.

Rounding a corner with only the streetlights to light her way, Maria's ear picked up the sound of a woman pleading to be released and she lowered herself down, slowly peering around a bush to see Phil forcing the woman to her knees. _Oh, don't you dare. _Maria frowned, giving directions to where they were and Munch replied back, saying they were coming. "And keep the siren off. He catches that sound and he'll take off again or do something worse."

"Wouldn't dream of it," Fin's smile could be heard through the hand held speaker.

Seeing Stabler taking position a few bushes from her, Maria turned slightly to see Benson coming up behind her, also crouching low. "What's he doing?"

"He's forced the woman to her knees and that weapon he has is powerful enough to obliterate her face." She replied in a low voice, turning back around to see the red and blue lights coming up fast, like a silent wolf stalking its meal. "And here they come."

Phil lifted his head from his kneeling position and turned to see the unmarked coming up. Before he could take a chance to run in a different direction, Elliot jumped from his hiding spot and tackled the man, Olivia moving from behind Maria and taking the woman's arm yanking her away from the commotion. Just as the unmarked was about to fly through an intersection, a dark colored vehicle flew out and was T-boned by the unmarked, causing the three detectives, suspect, hostage and nearby home owners to jump in shock at the sound of crunching metal. The dark unknown car didn't stop from spinning until it hit the sidewalk and rolled onto the stop sign.

"Jesus Christ!" Stabler cussed out, his hands keeping Phil down and his eyes glued on the accident before them. "Maria?" He turned his head as far as he could to see Maria standing there, her face pale and horror in her eyes. "Maria!" Her eyes turned to look at him and still stuck where she was. "Go to them! We'll call it in."

She nodded, unable to use her voice, and took off to the car accident. Nearing the over turned dark vehicle, she bent down and glanced inside to see the man in the driver's seat was defiantly deceased. The metal stand from the stop sign was clear through his neck and his blank eyes stared back at her. "Dammit!" She hissed, standing and running to the unmarked car, wondering which side to go to first. Moving to the passenger side first, Maria reached through the broken glass and pressed her fingers to Fin's neck. He was fully unconscious and a gash on his forehead was bleeding freely. But his pulse was good and strong.

_Wait a minute...the airbags didn't go off, _Maria's mind went on full alert and her heart began to pound harder. Hearing a groan from the driver's side, Frank rushed around the front and opened the door, not caring if she was leaving fingerprints on this new crime scene. Pressing her fingers to John's neck and felt his pulse was thready and irregular. "Oh, no. Oh God, no," Maria kept her fingers on his throat and took a hold of his wrist and felt that pulse was faint. Gently removing his transitions from his face and pocketing them, she couldn't bare looking in his face without breaking down. Broken glass had left small marks on one side of his face and he struggled to breath. "Easy, John. Easy," She whispered as he struggled to take in a breath and instead released a pained cough.

Once Olivia was done calming the hostage, she rushed over to Fin's side and checked his pulse herself. "How's John?"

"His pulse is thready, he's having a hard time breathing and...," She pulled her eyes away from staring into his pained eyes, looking at Benson. "The air bags didn't go off."

"Elliot called in the bus, back up and Cragen," She calmly told her, seeing her friend paling even more and looking back at the struggling man at her hands. Olivia looked back down at Fin and pressed a piece of cloth to his head wound. "Did you check the driver of the other car?"

"Yeah and he's dead as dead can get," Frank kept her fingers on John's wrist and placed her other hand around John's head and held him close to her, listening to him struggling to stay conscious. She didn't care if she showed her love for this man in front of Olivia - even though she knew. "I'm right here and help is coming."

The look on his pained face told her other wise.

* * *

_Oh, Jesus... I'm so fucked! _Maria Frank sat in the emergency room of Mercy Hospital an hour later, after watching paramedics carefully remove and transport Fin and John by ambulance. Her shirt was smeared with John's blood, right when he started coughing up blood at the accident and she was now stuck with the reminder on her beige shirt. The tears had stopped falling, but the tear stains had left her face red and she felt nauseous to the stomach.

"Maria?" Don Cragen had been at the scene, watching from a distance as the ambulances took his two best with sirens blaring. Now, he was getting his chance to see his distraught detective with blood on her shirt and tear stains down her face. "What happened?" He sat down beside her and kept his tone calm, coming at her as a friend instead of her boss.

"I...I don't know what happened. The suspect had taken a hostage, gave chase through the neighborhood and this dark car came out of no where and was broadsided by John and Fin." She shook her head and placed her hand over her mouth, feeling the tears coming back to life and welling up in her green eyes.

"Did you know that car was there?"

"No, otherwise I would have done something to stop that car..."

"I don't see you stopping a speeding vehicle, Frank." He gave her a look, knowing she was thinking in bigger views that wasn't possible.

"I know...but I can wish, right?" Her eyes pleaded for a truthful answer and Don couldn't find the right words. Instead, he placed his hand on her shoulder and gave her silent support. "I...don't even know if their going to make it."

"They'll make it, Maria." He said sternly. "They are both strong, tough men... I can't believe you had thought that."

"John was _struggling_ to breath!" She stood up, staring down at her captain. "Fin was _completely_ unconscious, the air bags had not gone off, who knows what _chest problems _both of them have from their seat belts... Did John's chest hit the steering wheel?! _I don't know_!" Don sat there and allowed her to pace the waiting room. "This is my fault."

"Don't say that."

"No, see," She sat down and rested her chin on her hands. "If I had planned it a little better, this would have not happened."

"You don't know that." Don Cragen watched her carefully, not believing she was blaming herself for an accident. "Where are Stabler and Benson?"

"Finishing up the crime scene, taking the suspect to the house and taking care of the hostage." She stood back up and stared down at her shirt, the red blood had dried into a dark color. "And...I have John's blood on me, Don..."

He stood up, pulling his coat off, and draped it over her shoulders to cover up the splatter. "Okay, Frank... this is what we're going to do: You're going back to your place, change your clothes and come back here. I'm going talk to IAB since they are sniffing around for a good excuse and see if I can get them to back off for a little bit."

"They're questioning me, aren't they?" Her face was blank like a poker holding a good hand. She knew where this was going.

Cragen's eyes darted downward and he nodded his head, saying, "Yes." She clenched her teeth in disgust and Don took notice. "Just go and get away while you can. Nothing is going to change in twenty minutes with both of them and, if something does, I'll call you first thing. Keep my coat on - last thing we need is the press noticing the blood splatter."

* * *

Taking the stairs instead of the elevator, Maria Frank took them one at a time, her keys hanging loosely in her hand and head bowed from exhaustion and stress. She could have gone to the closest apartment, but that would have been Munch's and she couldn't stand walking into it, knowing he was fighting for his life. Unlocking her door and shutting it without much effort, she placed Cragen's jacket on the back of a chair and just stood there. Her brain was working over time and going as fast as a car without any gas. Not fast at all, and she was drained. Squinting her eyes shut and pressing her fingers to her pounding temples.

"Okay... Get changed and get back there," She verbally set herself straight and slowly headed to the bedroom, undoing the shirt buttons as she went. Shedding it off, she placed it on the edge of the bed and reached into her closet, seeking out something that was comfortable and looked professional. Reaching in, her hand came in contact with one of John's suits - one of the few he always left at her place. Firmly shaking her head and frowning at herself, Maria sternly reminded herself, "He's still alive, dumb shit. When you get back to the hospital, you can go back and face against IAB. Cragen's right - it's not my fault this happened."

Sitting down on the edge of the bed, her eyes darted to the beige shirt and her thoughts went back to John struggling to breath, his face growing pale from shock and coughing up blood. "Who am I kidding," She picked it up and shoved it in a drawer. She would take care of it later. "It's my fault."

Checking on the cat food and litter box for her own lone cat, Maria placed a small dish of wet cat food and spent a few moments to stroke the feline. "I'm not mad at you, cat. Just myself and my stupidity about that stake out we did and two people I care deeply for are now in the hospital." The cat lifted her head and stared at the woman above her, purring loudly at the strokes. "I don't know anymore, fluff ball. I might as well get back to the hospital and who knows when I'll be back." She picked up a toy mouse and tossed it to one side of her place, watching the cat take off after it.

Taking that chance to slip out with Cragen's jacket under her arm, she locked her door and headed back down to her car, heading to the hospital. The first person she met at the door was Don, with an expression on his face that wasn't good at all. "Don? What's the matter? Is it the guys?"

"No, their doing well right now. Fin's in recovery now and they are still working on John. I talked with IAB and they are not going to back off from questioning you."

"What?"

"They want to check through your files and see how well you have taken care of past cases." He avoided looking into her face, which was growing red with anger. "They are also questioning the stake out."

"I knew it!" She kicked an empty can that was on the ground and it to bounce off the side of the building. "Sick fucks."

Don Cragen watched her fume, spat and curse out her choice words of the hounds who were sniffing her out. Once she was done beating the structure beam with her fist, he sat her down at the curb and offered her something she had not had in a long time - a cigarette. "Take it, Maria. You need this to help cool your steam before I tell you some good news."

Maria took it with her fingers and stared it over her oval frames, debating on lighting it. Only in very desperate times would she consider turning back to what she had quit and with this event happening, it was the right time. "Fine... You have a light, Cap?"

He held up a lighter and flicked it till the small flame, watching her lite it. "Take a few hits and then I'll tell you the good news."

"Can't believe there's any good news throughout this entire catastrophe," Don's firm look told her to steady and take a drag. "Fine." She took a few steady hits until she felt her nerves relax and the throbbing in her hand started to annoy her. "Okay, can you tell me the good news now?"

Cragen stretched his legs out and exhaled a slow breath before saying, "Like I had said about Fin, he's in recovery - he's bumped, bruised, scratched up and a concussion. Since the airbags didn't go off, his head hit the dashboard, causes the concussion and the gash on his forehead. We're just waiting for him to wake up right now."

"And John?"

"He's more badly beaten and needs more longer recovery time. From what they have figured out, he has several rib fractures, his collar bone on the left side is fractured, broken wrist and his having back trouble. It's not broken, but he's having a hard time moving without crying in pain.

"back trouble?!" Maria stood, her voice rising a few notches. "How is this good news for me to hear?"

"The good news is that he's going to all right. They are doing what they have to do to keep him comfortable and to keep him stable before any of us can go in to see him." He motioned her to sit back down and watched her take in a slow drag, her glowing eyes staring straight ahead. "Let's get IAB out of the way and I'll give you what ever amount of time you need to care for him." He knew they both had a very personal and very intimate relationship - something he choice to allow, but glad they kept it very well hidden.

"Fine," She grounded the short cigarette on the ground and placed it in the designated trash container. "Fine, you're the boss. Let's restart my stress level before I pop a few."

"I know, but getting this hard part out of the way will help you, Fin and John with this situation." Cragen walked into the hospital with her and to the growing crowd of reporters, curious citizens and local cops offering support. Don pointed to a secluded room, where Ed Tucker stood, his arms crossed over his chest and waiting for her. "Little advice, Frank - Don't give them information that they don't need to know. Got it?"

"Got it." She strolled over to the small room and walked inside, Tucker closing the door behind them. "Didn't want to take me down to your office to drill me instead?"

"This is more convenient with the situation at hand." He pointed to a chair and she sat down squarely in it, her face showing she wasn't playing games. "Ready to talk about what happened?"

"Sure am. Been ready since I heard you were sniffing around."

"You are correct, Detective. Now...let's start with the beginning." He sat down, placing the recorder between them and folded his hands together.

* * *

Don Cragen sat on the couch with Elliot Stabler and Olivia Benson watching the double doors with intent stares. Neither of them noticed Maria Frank flopping down in a chair, tear stains had made her face red and looking like she was going to kill someone. "What happened?" Cragen's voice caused the two to turn their heads and giving her their full attention.

"I've...been suspended until further notice," She said with a hoarse voice, the level low and dangerous.

"What?" Elliot leaned over more and his eyebrows creased.

"I have been put on half paid suspension until I'm cleared. If they find me a bad cop and unable to take care of my cases, I'll be kicked to the crib. If they clear me, I can come back to work with full pay." She lifted her shirt slightly, showing that something was missing. "They had taken my badge and weapon as well."

"I hope it wasn't the smoke I gave you earlier that fueled their decision." Don cringed slightly, realizing she did smell slightly of the smoke.

"No, Tucker could have cared less for that. He drilled me on what rights I had broken before, during and _after_ the stake out, how I taken control of the situation and I'm not allowed near the house by a thousand feet."

"That's bullshit!" Olivia stood up and spread her hands on in disgust. "They ordered you to not step foot in or near the building?"

Maria nodded as a nurse came through the double doors. "Yeah, so I have all the time in the world to take care of you-know-who." She watched the nurse come near and recognized the the woman from when she had been assaulted and was in the hospital for a few weeks. But that was years ago. "I'd be damned. I know that nurse."

The tall woman walked over with two clipboards in her hands. "Are you the Don Cragen waiting party?"

"Yes, but that's a way to say it," Cragen said as he stood up. "How are they doing now?"

"Detective Tutoula is starting to wake up from the morphine. The gash on his head and his concussion is going to hurt him for a week or so, but it's going to heal, along with every thing else he sustained."

"And John?"

"Sergent Munch is out of the critical stage now. He's still unconscious and going to stay under heavy sedation to allow his body to heal. We stitched up the deeper cuts on the side of his face and repaired the damage to the left side of his clavicle. We also repaired his wrist and it's in a plaster cast until further notice. His rib fractures are stabilized and he's in a neck brace to keep his neck and back stable enough until he's well enough to move without raising concerns."

Maria's already pale face couldn't have turned any paler, but it really did. "How long does he had to stay in here?"

"We're not sure. It all depends on how well he heals." She looked around at their faces and sighed heavily. "Once I get the okay, I can only allow one person to see him considering his condition. I'll come to you all personally when I get the word."

"Can Fin be seen right now?"

She nodded and said softly, "I can allow one or two to see him for now."

"I wanna see him." Maria said quietly, but clear enough for them to hear. "Who wants to come with me?"

"I will," Elliot moved forward and they both followed the nurse to Fin's hospital room. Sticking close to Maria, Elliot knew there was nothing he could say to make her feel any better, but he felt like he had to say something to her. "I'm sorry this happened-"

"Why do you want to come with?" She cut him off sternly. "The last time you two talked, he threatened a transfer to get away from you when you dumped his cell during that fucking case with Lake. You and Fin haven't really been on talking terms since that day and I don't see him wanting to even look at you in the state he's in."

"Easy now," Stabler hissed, knowing she was already fueled up after the issue with IAB. "I'm concerned for both of them, Maria, and I am honestly sorry that this happened. I want for Fin and I to be friends again, but I know that's not going to be easy."

"And you're going to try in the state he's in?"

"I'm showing him I care." His dark eyebrows creased in concern and Maria looked away from him, focusing on the room the nurse had led them to. "I'm trying, Maria."

The nurse, Sue, held the door open to reveal a semi-conscious Fin, his dark eyes opening slightly at the sound of the door opening. Maria peeked out from behind Elliot and couldn't stop her own emotions taking over again. "Oh my God."

"Hey," He said hoarsely and cracked a small smile. He lifted a hand and motioned for them both to come in. "How's my partner?"

Elliot placed a hand on Maria's back and pushed her slightly forward, seeing she was too nervous to even talk to him. Walking over slowly and sitting down beside him, she struggled for a few moments to find her own voice. "He's...We don't know yet."

"You haven't seen him?"

"Not yet, Fin. He's more beaten up then you are," Elliot answered carefully, watching Maria with a careful eye. "We're hoping soon."

Fin's eyes moved from looking at Elliot to Maria, her eyes seemed locked on the IV needle in his hand. "Maria?"

"I'm so sorry, Fin." Her voice was distant as she spoke. "I'm sorry that this happened and I feel it's my fault that this had happened."

Odafin Tutoula reached his hand out and grasped it as best he could, drawing her attention. "Don't say that. There was nothing you could do to stop this from happening, so don't blame yourself." Her head bowed again, but she grasped his hand without hurting him further. "John doesn't need you do blame yourself over an accident, got that?"

Frank lifted her head and nodded slightly saying, "I'll try, okay?"

"All right then."

**To be Continued.**


	4. Chapter 4

An hour had passed until Sue, the nurse, returned to Fin's hospital room to inform Elliot, Maria and Fin of John's condition. "We have him stabilized finally, but I can only allow one person to visit him."

Maria heart skipped a beat, but she stood and said, "I'll go." Giving Fin a gentle hug and followed Sue up a few floors to the Intensive Care Unit. "Is he awake yet?"

"No, he's going to be heavily sedated for a few days to give him a chance to heal and recover."

"Is he in a drug induced coma?"

"Nope, just a heavy amount of morphine." She carefully opened the door and walked in with Maria into the semi dark room. She did a quick check of the monitors and pointed to a chair near the bed. "Because I know your history with him, I'll give you ten extra minutes. You can talk to him, hold his hand and he might wake you slightly, but he won't stay conscious."

"That's okay, Sue. I just want him to get better, that's all." She looked up at the dim lights and asked, "Could it be possible to turn the lights up a little more?"

Nodding, she turned to nob until an appropriate amount of light lit up the room. "I'll come get you when the times up," She replied softly before closing the door.

Slowly turning around and looking at John for the first time since the accident, she instantly wanted to break down and cry, but she couldn't. Her pounding head ache from crying so much for the past several hours made it difficult. Getting closer to the bed and getting a clear view of his injuries, Maria reached a hand down and grasped his cold fingers and lightly squeezed them. The right side of his face was badly scratched up from flying glass - the deeper cuts were stitched up while the rest had healed up. Several wires were under the hospital gown he was in, the soft pads at the end resting over his heart and monitoring his heart rhythm carefully. The IV drip providing him what his body couldn't give had been placed in the back of his hand that she held and she feared even touching it, an irrational thought traveling through her troubled mind if she was to touch it, it would fall out.

The oxygen mask rested comfortably over his nose and mouth, providing him much needed oxygen that his lungs were not capable of doing themselves. Not wanting to touch the damaged side of his face, she walked around the bed to his left side and sat down in the chair, her fingers taking a hold of his other hand. Reaching out slowly and gently, she touched his face and flinched slightly at how cold his face was. Ever time she touched a body that was cold, that body was dead. He was very much alive, the monitor was still going strong, but his cold flesh had reality crash right on top of her like an anvil. His face was pale as well which added to her fear of what could have really happened."Oh John," Her voice began to crack again from emotions, her fingers caressing his face gently. "I'm so sorry, baby. I didn't mean to it to go like that and...and I just want you to get better fast for me."

The tears rolled down her cheeks and jumped in her seat when he weakly squeezed her fingers and he groaned deep in his throat. When he was still once again, she knew he wasn't fighting to wake up - just reacting to her voice. That's all she figured when his hand went limp once again. His mostly silver hair was ruffled from sweating after the accident and from in triage while in unbearable pain and she gently patted it down, remembering how she always loved see him wake up in the mornings with his hair sticking in odd directions. She smiled sadly and hoped she would get to see it soon. Her eyes traveled down to the hard cast on his wrist, the white casting seemed almost invisible against his pain skin.

"I wonder if they had to put hardware into it?" She wondered softly to herself, her hand going back to caressing his cheek. For the first time in years, Maria Frank prayed and hoped he was going to wake up soon and recover as well as he had been before the accident. Hearing the door opening and turning her head to see Sue standing there, she stood and placed a soft kiss to his cold cheek and said, "I'll be back, John. Get better for me, okay?"

Walking out of the room quietly and shutting the door, Maria and Sue walked side by side down the wide hallway. "Can I ask you something that's important to me, Sue?"

"Sure."

"When...when John's released from the hospital, can he be released into my care? You know our history together - you were one of the nurses that cared for me and I'm just asking for this favor. He doesn't have any family in the city and I'm the only one he would trust with the care he's going to need."

Sue turned her head and smiled, saying, "I can make sure that happens. He's going to need a lot of care when he does leave the hospital first off; limited movement, medication, physical therapy on her wrist and lots of rest. He's also going to need help getting up and down from chairs, bed, or where ever he's been sitting."

"Well, I do have a lot of time on my hands at the moment, so that will give me a chance to care for him and his needs." Reaching in her pocket and retrieving her card, she handed it to the nurse saying, "Listen, if anything changes for either John or Fin, will you let me know?"

"Sure."

* * *

Leaving the hospital moments later, Maria debated of where to go and what to do. She had been told to not step into the House, which was beyond stupid in her own mind, but she followed it anyway. She had allowed Elliot to take her car, as he didn't have his with him, which left her to flag down a taxi. Getting inside, she made a quick decision for the driver to drop her off at John's apartment for several reasons - she needed to be around his things to feel safe, comfortable and because she wanted to. Walking into his apartment, setting the security alarm and turning on some lights. The first thing she wanted was sleep and to just hope this was a bad dream. She just wanted to wake up, see John sleeping next to her and snuggle up against him.

But she could keep dreaming. He wasn't going to be in that empty spot in the bed and he wasn't going to be there when she wanted to snuggle up against him. Kicking off her shoes and walking into the bedroom, she flopped down on the bed and just laid there on her stomach. Reaching a hand over and grasping his pillow, she pulled it close and hugged it close like a life line. Holding it close to her body, she drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

Woken up from a disturbing dream, Frank laid there with tears streaming out of her eyes until realizing her cell was ringing in her pocket. Reaching for it with one hand and wiping the tears with the other, she flipped it open and asked, "What?" bluntly. The person didn't sound surprised from her tone, considering the time it was.

"Maria, it's George."

Sighing heavily and sitting up, she thought carefully of her next words to the well known shrink. "I...guess you heard of what happened?"

"That's why I'm calling you, Mar." His voice stayed at a calm tone, in an attempt to calm her down. "Word travels fast with this kind of accident."

"I bet. What do you want?"

"Just talking, Frank."

"You gonna shrink me over the phone? That's a new one for my book."

"Hardly," He lightly laughed on the other end of the line. "Just wanting to talk to you since I know you are alone without John." Maria went silent and held her tongue before she shot something back at him. "You still there?"

"Yeah, just...where are you?" She stood up and walked into the living room area, reaching for her shoes.

"I'm right outside. Look out the window and look right down, Frank." Maria peered around a window blind and saw the Asian shrink across the street, waving up at her. "See me?"

"How did you know I was here, George?"

He chuckled on the other line. "I know you, Maria. Grab your coat and come on down. I have some coffee for you."

* * *

"When did you get word about this situation?" Maria asked calmly as they walked down the sidewalk, their breaths coming out as small fogs in the chilly early morning air.

"Not until a few hours back and I thought about you first thing. I also know about IAB ripping you and I know you want someone to talk to." Huang looked over at her and observed her carefully with his dark eyes. The hot cup of coffee he had bought for her was held close to her chest as they walked, her gloved hands were kept warm by the warm liquid and the protection of the gloves John had bought for her months before the winter weather kicked in. "You're going to follow IAB's demands, correct?"

"I'm not like who you're thinking about, Huang. I don't like staying away from the house, but if they want to, I will. Besides, with this free time I now have I'm able to care for John when he's released from the hospital."

"How is he?"

"When I went to see him, he was still unconscious due to his injuries. I'm planning to hang around the hospital today with both of them and give them both company. Depending if either are awake when I arrive that is."

"You're blaming yourself for it, aren't you?"

"I told you not to shrink me, doc." She hissed out, giving him a hard look. "I don't want that right now since Fin already told me straighten out and stop blaming myself." Her words came out bluntly, but George Huang didn't take offense to it or if it did, he didn't show it. "What else do you want to blab about now?"

He shook his head slowly and said, "Just wanting to make sure you are okay. I know how much this deeply affects you, but just wanted to be sure you're taking care of yourself and not doing anything stupid." He knew fully of her PTSD from an assault years before and John was her leverage to keep going.

"What makes you think I'm going to do something stupid to myself?"

"Because I know you and what stress you're under all the time. You and everybody else you work with," He stopped in his tracks and waited until she stopped walking, turning to look at him. "Here's some advice; take care of yourself first before taking on John's needs. Feeling urges to dance with the bullet, you have me on speed dial and call me."

* * *

After a long, hot shower, checking up and playing with her lone cat, Maria Frank headed up to Fin's hospital room for a decent stay to keep him company until his son came over. She had received news earlier that John was not conscious yet, but was struggling against the sedatives and fighting to wake up. Knowing him, it might just wake up any time soon. Taking a deep breath and forcing a smile on, Maria walked into Fin's room and said happily, "How my favorite brother?"

"Brother? Damn girl, you're trying too hard." Fin cracked a small smile and pointed to the chair for her to sit in. "How'd you sleep last night?" The pained expression on his face from his head injury had lessened and he was able to move his neck without too much pain.

"I hardly did, except when I was hugging a pillow. Had some grizzly dreams dancing through my mind like a cruel bully who wouldn't leave you alone in school. And it wasn't just John that was plaguing me but it was also you and I can't get it out of my head." She pressed the palm of her hand to her temple and slumped down in the chair, releasing a heavy sigh. "Huang stopped over, gave me a call and we went for a small walk to just chat. So, I'm here to clear my mind with all this shit that's been collecting and molding out the happy thoughts."

"I'm sorry this is happenin', baby."

"It's not your fault, Fin. I just...I," She paused a brief moment before saying, "Can I do anything for you? Seriously, anything at all that you need or want."

"Seriously?"

"Yes, anything."

Fin inhaled a slow breath and motioned down at his feet with his free hand. "I've had a cramp in my left foot for the longest time. No one's been willing to relieve me of this pain and it's been uncomfortable."

Maria cracked a smile and stood up, lifting the hospital blanket enough to reveal his left foot. "Anything for a friend," She said softly, sitting down on the edge of the bed and began working on the tense muscles of Fin's dark foot. "Is that it right where my fingers are?"

Fin winced slightly at the pressure she was applying and nodded. "Yeah, it's right along the center to my heel."

"Okay," She whispered as she lightly pressed the pads over her fingers down the center of his foot to his heel and back up, relaxing the tense muscles. "Relax, Fin. Tensing up on me isn't going to make this easier."

"I know," He laid his head back against the pillows and released a relaxing breath. "It's just hard to relax since this happened, you know?"

Frank looked up at him and nodded, but didn't say anything for a few moments. She spent the time concentrating on what her fingers were doing and what Fin's body movements were doing - whether he was relaxing or tensing up. After releasing some tension in his cramp, Maria spoke up softly to not startle him since they have been in silence for a while. "What were you and John talking about before the chase last night?"

Tutoula opened his eyes from his zen-like state and slowly smiled, saying, "John brought up what you had done the night before."

"You mean he said I..."

"Hope the doc didn't see teeth marks on his thigh, baby girl."

Maria Frank's face went bright red and she looked away, a smile on her face from embarrassment. "Oh, boy." Fin lightly kicked her with his foot to get her to look back at him. "I had a feeling he was telling you that night, but I didn't want to think about it of you two talking about it."

"He was worried, girlfriend. He was worried that you were taking this case too personally and you took it out of him." Fin kept his tone at a calm level and observed with a careful eye. Deep down in his heart, Fin has a secret crush on Maria that had been growing since she started working with the team. But she was John's girl and he knew better then to hurt John emotionally by 'stealing' her from him.

"But I didn't hurt him, at least he didn't say it hurt."

"He told me it didn't, either. But he could be hurt that you didn't say anything until you cracked that night."

Maria sighed, having a feeling where this was leading."Fin, one of my issues is I don't talk about what's bugging me, not even to a man I love dear to my heart and loves me back. First time it happened was when I tried talking to someone about my father's affair with his secretary, but they basically told me to turn the other cheek. Then, when I was in foster care, I tried to find someone else to help with my 'parents' and what assholes they were and probably still are. I keep inside now since that's how I learned to cope with it." She stood up, walking to look outside his room window. "I try so hard to speak to John or call up Huang, but I can't seem to break this unhealthy habit."

"Does George know about this?"

"Yeah and we've been working on it, but he also said that I need to work with John about talkin' more and expression the shit that's pissing me off." Her fingers ran through her dark brown hair and continued saying, "John and I need to talk, anyway, but in the condition he's in... I don't want to drop it on him like that."

A knock on the door and the sound of it slowly opening, Maria turned to see Sue. "May I come in?"

"Which one are you seeking?"

"Mostly Ms. Frank but you both can hear this - Mr. Munch is fighting the sedation to the point he'll wake up at any moment. If we give him more, it'll knock him into a very deep coma. So, what I'm offering is, if you want to, sit with him for a while until he wakes up."

"Can I stay with him after he's conscious?"

"Sure, I already cleared it and we can head up when you're ready."

* * *

Fin had to literally threaten Maria out the door to visit Munch, a small smile on his dark lips. Following Sue up a few floors to the critical care level, she held the door open and advised Maria of a few things to do if and when he were to awake. "Hit the call button first thing and keep him as still as possible until we arrive, okay?"

"I will," she shook her hand as Sue left, moving the chair back to where it was before. She sat down and grasped his hand, smiling sadly at how well it felt in her fingers. His flesh was no longer cold like the dead, but it was warming up with each hour he was under the expert care of the doctors and nurses. "I told you I'd be back, sweetheart," She whispered softly, her thumb caressing the back of his hand. "They tell me you're trying to wake up and I just want you to know I'm here for you and only you."

John's fingers grasped her hand hard, groaning deep in his throat. Maria's heart skip a few beats when his dark eyes slowly opened and quickly closed from the lights. Frank quickly hit the call button and placed her hand over his eyes, allowing him to open them without the glaring light. He reached a hand up and grasped her wrist in slight confusion of where he was, groaning slightly from the pain throughout his body.

"Easy, John. It's just me." His eyes shifted to look at her as she kneeled down, peering under her hand. "You're in the hospital after the accident. Do you remember that?" He nodded slightly and released her wrist from his hold. "The nurses are going to be coming in here to check you over and make sure you're doing well, okay? I'm going to stay here with you for as long as you want me here."

He nodded slightly as Sue walked in and did a quick check before requesting the doctor to come in and to a more thorough check over and lifted the oxygen mask slightly to speak to him. "Mr. Munch, can you understand me?"

"Yeah?" His voice was hoarse and at a whisper, but Maria resisted jumping over and hugging him for actually speaking.

"Good." The doctor smiled slightly as he placed his hand where one fractured rib was. "How does it feel here?"

John winced slightly and gave his best glare, considering his condition. "Tender. Mind not pressing there?"

"I'm sorry, just have to lightly press on the tender spots to see how stable they are." He carefully had him lift his left arm as high as he was able to. "Good, you can put it down now. Good to see how high you're able to lift it, considering the stability we had to place there."

"How bad?"

He shook his head slightly and said, "Just a fraction from the seat belt. Considering the accident happened at high speeds, I'm surprised it's not worse." Munch stared up at him with a perplexed look. "Sorry. I've had two other car accidents, so it's been a tough night." He lifted the cast-wrapped hand and had John flex all his fingers slowly. "How is the pain today since the surgery?"

Frank's dark eyebrows shot up slightly at his question. _How bad was the break? _Munch made a face of pure pain when he took in a deep breath, his hand searching for Maria's and squeezing it hard. "It really, really hurts right now. Aren't you going to do anything about it?"

"We are working on the right prescription of pain killers for your wrist. You are very lucky it didn't require any hard-wiring for one thing. Second, you are going to need physical therapy before having full use of your hand. There was some nerve damage, along with the badly broken bones, that'll heal on it's own."

John's brown eyes moved to look at Maria and gazed up at her with a look of unanswered questions. Understanding one that he was trying to say, she spoke for him. "How long is recovering going to be for this kind of break?"

"The wrist should take four weeks to fully heal and the physical therapy will add on a month at the latest. Your back, on the other hand, is going to require a certified chiropractor for daily back cracking. Pain medication isn't going to make it better and the thought of any strenuous activity isn't going to help either. Any activity is limited to very, very light work to nothing." He saw their eyes flicker at each other and chuckled. "Any sexual activity is going to have to wait until we can clear him once we get word from the chiropractor. Any type of moment or position for intercourse will strain your back and possibly make it worse - not to mention, with the plaster case, will make it very uncomfortable."

"Got it," John muttered in his hoarse voice as the breathing mask was snuggled back on. "How long do I have to wear this thing?"

The doctor looked at his chart and wrote down a few things, his smile showing his white pearly teeth. It left Maria wondering how many top surgeries he had to do to get those perfect teeth. "Just for the rest of the day and night. We'll put you on the other oxygen game in the morning." With that, he walked out and on to the next patient.

Maria sat back down and rested her chin on the hospital bed, watching John's chest rise and fall slowly and listening to the gentle beating on the heart monitor. "Guess they're going to put the tubes up your nose tomorrow then." She whispered, wondering if he was still awake.

"Hm, I guess so." He sounded exhausted, but she could sense he was fighting it. "And no sex."

"You'll live." She smirked when he squeezed her hand and made what sounded like a groan. "Hey, you survive the one week a month deal that I have to live with. Just think of it as a really long, slow week." Frank sat up and looked down at him. His eyes had been staring at the ceiling until she moved and he looked back at her. "One a gentler note, I have some time off to help you and take care of you."

His eyebrows moved slightly as he frowned up at her.

"It's a long story, baby. I'll explain it later." She waved it off with her free hand, mentally kicking herself for mentioning it, even though he needed to know she was there for him. "I promise, I'll explain it later."

**To be continued...**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: Maria Frank came out of my own mind. John Munch and others belong to Dick Wolf and Law and Order: SVU. Damn.**

Two days later...**  
**

"George, I've had a headache since the second this case when down the tubes." Maria Frank leaned forward in her seat, the heel of her hands pressing against her eyes. Doctor George Huang was her main person to run to when her stress rose to beyond control. She had spent most of the night with John, watching him slip in and out of unconsciousness until he pointed to the door, telling her to leave for the night.

The rest of the night, she laid out on her own couch and stared at the ceiling to the point her eyes hurt from exhaustion. First thing that morning, she rang up the doc and requested his ears to listen to her and his patience. "I don't know what I'm going to do. He doesn't know that I have been kicked to the curb until they are done examining my past cases. All he knows is I'm going to care for him when he's released from the hospital."

"Are you going to tell him later on in his recovery? He's going to question why you're around for so long."

She sat up and exhaled a slow breath from her nose, staring at Huang with a blank look. "I can't while he's hooked up the heart monitors. They want to keep his blood pressure as low as possible and if I mention any of this to him now, it'll sky-rocket, he'll get pissed and they will sedate him heavily again." Frank stood up and made a small circle in the room they were in allowed her heart to spill out what she had been holding in." I'm feeling guilty about this shit and I can't get it out of my mind. Fin knows about all of this guilt and he told me to forget about it since it wasn't my fault. It was a freak accident, but this 'freak accident' is eating my alive because two people - both are my partners - are in the hospital. I was the primary until IAB kicked me to the side and allowed Benson to take over."

She slipped back into the chair and leaned forward to speak to Huang carefully. "I love John, you know that right?" He nodded sternly. "I would have done anything to protect him from anything happening to him, but look at what happened. His collarbone is cracked, wrist is set in plaster, several ribs are fractured and he needs physical therapy for his wrist. We had both made a promise to each other, come hell or high water, and along came that fucking car!"

"The car they hit," he stated, watching something snap in her green eyes.

"Yes, that car. They had their lights flashing and the siren was on once I warned the suspect had a hostage. That driver should have known they were coming, but he came out anyway like the dumb fuck he was. John could have died there in my arms before the bus finally came. Something was fucked up in that car - air bags didn't go off and didn't make it easier when they were both thrown forward. You should see the bruise on John from the seat belt."

Huang watched her carefully and nodded.

Maria choking back her emotions and said, "A bruise had formed over night and when they had opened the front of his gown to do a check up before bed, I could see the imprint of the seat belt." Her chin began to tremble, remembering when he flinched sightly when they had touched it. "They checked his back and clavicle and h-he gasped out in pain and gave me this look - like he wanted me stop them. I couldn't since I had promised to not interfere during check ups or I would have to leave the room. He didn't want to cry when they had finally left, but I told him it was all right. He deserved the right to cry in his condition, right?"

Huang nodded and placed a hand on her shoulder in comfort. "He's human. No matter how many times he keeps it in, his emotions are going to take over. Fin has his son, correct?"

"Yes and he's going to help him recover before heading back to the House."

"And John has you to help him mentally, emotionally and physically. He's going to need patience and tender care to recover from this."

"I know that. They don't me it's going to be a while until he'll be able to do what he normally does." She wiped away her tears and cracked a small smile with her face turning slightly red. "Including sex has been limited to nothing or extreme slowness. If you get my meaning."

"Was that on the plan for recovery?" George smiled at her and glad to see her smile during their small session.

"No because I fear I will hurt him or he'll hurt himself." Her smile faded, contemplating one small thought that had been bothering her. "You know I trust you about private...stuff...about my life and I just really need to get this out."

"Go ahead."

Maria sat back up and blinked back a few tears that were threatening to fall. "You know about my guilt about this right? Well, I...I keep finding it difficult to look at him without fear of his recovery taking the turn for the worse. I don't want him to think I'm avoiding him or doubting my love for him. I love him more then when we first met and he knows that, but that guilt is eating me alive."

"Listen," Huang stood her up and made her look in his eyes. "You are going to need to talk to John about this since he deserves to know what you are feeling. You don't need to mention it today, tomorrow or next month but he needs to know."

Wiping the tears from her eyes with the back of her hand and nodded. "'kay. But how am I going to break it to him?"

"Figure out a way, Maria. I'll come to you."

* * *

_Figure it out for myself, right? How do I word something like what I had mentioned to a healed broken heart that he has? _She thought, sitting in her car and thinking of her next step. _Sooooo, I talked to Huang and gave me advice to speak to John about my issues. Okay, I can do that. I've done that many times, but nothing as complicated as this. All right, Frank. Suck it up and head over to see him. Who knows...I talked about it, got it out to the point I can see straight so I should be able to look at him without the damn guilt, right? _She bowed her head slightly and rubbed her face with her hands. _I hope to God I can. He needs me._

Finally putting the car into drive and heading to the direction of the hospital, Maria blocked out her troubling thoughts for that small moment and hoped it wouldn't break through when she would walk into his hospital room. Stopping by the nurses station, she found out he was more aware and had the mask removed with the nasal cannula taking it's place. Saying her thanks and heading to where he was located, Maria's warm smile broke through her tension, seeing him slightly sitting up and what looked like he was counting the dots on the ceiling. "How many are you up to now?"

Startled slightly, Munch smiled at her and held his hand out for her to take. His face looked exhausted, but his dark eyes were bright and alert. "How long have you been watching me?"

"For a few moments, but couldn't resist distracting you." Her eyes looked him over as a rush of curiosity took over. The neck brace was still on, but he was able to turn his neck slightly without visibly flinching.

"You missed the real fun." His lips pulled back in a slow grin.

"What was it?"

"I got an interesting, small sponge bath."

Frank laughed slightly and leaned forward, whispering, "I wish it could have been me." Her fingers creased along his jaw as his smile turned into a grin before flinching slightly with pain when her hand accidentally touched his bandaged shoulder. "Damn. I didn't mean for that-"

John shook his head firmly and grasped her hand. "Don't say that. I'm glad you said you wish you had and once I get out of here, you'll get that chance."

Maria smiled back and kissed his forehead gently. "I can't wait. But for now, you have to get better so I can get you out of here, got it? I'm going to ask your doctor when you'll be able to come home and you just sit tight, 'kay?"

Munch tilted his head to one side saying, "It's not like I can go anywhere, you know."

"I know." Her fingers went through his hair in a calming motion and and stood up. "I'll be right back." John watched as she left the room and briefly closed his eyes as the accident flashed through his mind. The sight of the stand off and the adrenaline rushing through to make it in time to stop the suspect from harming his hostage, the black vehicle coming out of nowhere and the crushing pain he felt at the speed they were going at. When Maria had rushed over to check on them, the first thing he wanted was to be held in her arms and have her take his pain away. They both would have done anything for the other person to not be in pain or suffer.

Hearing her returning at a fast pace, his eyes opened right before she hugged him gently to not cause him to flinch. "Good news?"

"Very," she pulled back and pressed her forehead against his, John's hand stroking through her hair. "They're going to release you around next week at the latest. If everything goes well with your recovering, you'll be released into my care. They're going to give me a list of requirements that you need and I'll be able to pick up your medication, bring you in for required scans, check ups and physical therapy for your shoulder."

John smiled up at her and, despite the nasal cannula in the way, he pulled her down for a soft kiss. Breaking it slowly, they both gazed deep into their eyes and something flickered in her eyes he couldn't quite figure out. Pushing the question aside, Munch placed his hand on the back of her neck and gently pulled her back down for a much longer, slower kiss.

Hearing a throat clearing, Frank took her time pulling away from him and glanced over her shoulder to see Cragen standing there, a smile on his face. "I know they allow physical therapy on this level, but I don't think that's the right kind of therapy he needs, Frank."

Maria's face turned red and chuckled nervously. "Well," She paused at the expression Don had on his face and chuckled again. "I was just...uh..."

"Don't worry about it," Don held up his hand and shook his head so she wouldn't try and explain herself. "I heard that you'll be his main caretaker. Ready to take on that challenge? He's not an easy one to hold down."

She glanced down at John, who was giving his best innocent look but it was failing badly. "Considering we practically live together, I think I can hold him down good enough so he'll behave himself." She reached out and ran her fingers through his hair as he laid his head back down, gradually drifting off to sleep. "From all the medication he's going to be on, he'll be spending most of that time sleeping."

"He's really exhausted...just by looking at him drift off." Don lowered his voice to not wake him.

Maria nodded, pointing in the direction of the door and heading out to speak in the hall. "He's been fighting to sedatives, woke up earlier then they had expected and has been struggling to stay awake since. I'm hoping once I get him to my place, a place he's familiar with, he'll get the rest he needs to recover." Cragen nodded in agreement. "I...also went to see Huang earlier today. I've been dealing with some shit from the accident and I knew I had to talk to someone about it."

"And what did he say?"

"I have to talk to John about a few things. I'm struggling to even look at him without feeling guilty and all this guilt that I'm carrying around that I shouldn't be."

"And caring for the John is going to make that easier?" Don's face creased with worry and placed a calming hand on her shoulder. "What is this guilt you're talking about?"

Maria's chin started to tremble and chewed on her bottom lip. "We had made a promise to each other we would not get hurt in the sight of the other person. Remember the one case we had and the suspect punched me in the head?" Cragen nodded slowly. "John flipped out and almost knocked the guy into the next year. We had made this promise to protect each other whether on the job or off the job and look at where we are now. He's in the hospital, I saw the cars collide and I held him in my arms before the bus arrived to yank him away from me to give him the medical care he needed."

Hearing a sound from the room, Maria turned to see John slowly waking up and reaching his hand out as if looking for her hand to hold. "He's waking up again, Don." She turned to look back at her boss. "I gotta go to him."

"Go ahead. I'll call later to ask how he's going." Don said as she headed back in and left him to head back to the office.

Taking her seat again and grasping his warming hand, Maria smiled down at him as he turned to look at her with tired look eyes. "You need to get some rest, sweetheart." She whispered and leaned in to rest her chin on their connected hands. "You really need to get some rest. Don't fight it, please."

"I know, but I want you to stay." His brown eyes gazed into her's and showed how exhausted he was with his eyelids drooped each time he blinked. "Stay? Please?"

"I'll stay if you get some sleep and when you wake up, I'll be right here, okay?" Her fingers softly caressed his cheek as he nodded and slowly drifted off back to sleep. Moving her hand to stroke her fingers through his hair, she rested her head on his pillow and smiled sadly to herself. _I'm right here for you, John. I promise._

**To be continued-**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: Maria is the silly voice in my head that talks during psych class and puts in the evil thoughts. John Munch and all other folks are Dick Wolf's. Yippee! **

Rubbing her fingers against her temples, Maria sat at her dining table and released her breaths slowly. Very soon, Elliot would be pulling up with John in his car and handing the big baby to her. _Yep, big baby_. Over the last week, John had started to become restless to the point nurses were close to handing him off to her in a handbag. Not only was he tired of constant poking and prodding, but he really wanted to be in a familiar place, with his Maria and laying in her bed, surrounded by her warmth. Hearing her phone ring, she quickly glanced at it and answered it promptly. "How the baby?"

"He's worse then Eli." Elliot said over the phone, referring to his youngest son. "Good news is, I have him in front of your door now. So come and get him." Maria hastily got up and opened her door to see Stabler supporting a sore looking John Munch. Reaching out to take him from Elliot's grasp, Maria smiled softly when he rested his chin on her shoulder. "They gave him some medication before leaving, so he's also really tired. Have you ever had a tired, yet cynical man in your car before?" Maria nodded her head slightly, still smiling. "Fun, isn't it?"

"It certainly is." Waving her thanks to Elliot and shutting the door, Maria headed in the direction of the bedroom and sat him down on the edge of the mattress. "Easy now." She whispered, easing him to lay down without applying any pressure to his sore and tender body. "Just lay down and get some rest, okay? You're home with me, in a familiar place, so there's no reason to be restless about anything." Undoing the buttons of his front shirt, she didn't dare try to try and slip it off in fear of harming him, but she did take a chance to remove his slack by lifted his hips carefully and sliding them down his long legs. Slipping her fingers under the top of his socks, she eased them off, tossed them to the hamper and worked her thumbs down the center of his right foot. Once she was satisfied with what she had done for his right, she moved to his left and began where she had started with his right. "I knew you needed this for a long time. The hospital room really didn't give me the privacy I needed to really work on you, but from the smile on your face, you're satisfied. Feeling better?"

Sighing against the feeling of her working some tension from his feet, Munch smiled tiredly down at her and motioned for her to come closer to him. Draping the comforter over him and moving closer to him, John took a hold of her hand and said, " Thank you so much for the past few weeks, baby." He gently tugged on her hand for her to lean down for a kiss. Much as hard as he tried to have it last longer, Munch laid his head back down and weakly smiled. "Wish I could pay you back for everything."

"You'll get your chance, sweetheart." Maria said softly and caressed his cheek gently. "If you were more awake then you are now," She carefully observed his drooping eyelids as he started drifting off, " I would read to you. But, when you wake up in a little while, I'll bring in the paper, okay?" He nodded slowly as she readjusted the pillow behind his head and tucked the comforter around his shoulders. Running her fingers through his short hair until he was fully asleep, she turned the lights down and closed the door slightly enough for her to hear any sounds.

Staring at her bookshelf for something suitable to read for the time being, Maria laid down on her couch and flipped to the right page. Being heavily absorbed in the conspiracies of the disappearances of Amelia Earhart, Maria jumped slightly when her only furry friend, Betsie, jumped onto her legs and slowly walked up her body. Loudly purring when Maria's fingers scratched her dark neck, Maria placed her book down and turned her attention to her feline. "Guess you noticed we have a visitor, huh?" She knew her kitty had a huge dislike of Munch since day one for some reason and he knew of it well. From what Frank had suspected, Betsie had jumped onto the bed thinking it was her human momma to only realize it was her evil nemesis.

Just by petting the cat, she would tell Betsie wasn't pleased. "Hey, he's not well enough to be on his own at the moment, so live with it." Maria sighed as she sat up and placed the cat on the floor, marked where she had stopped in her book and began unloading the dishwasher. Being off from work did have an upside - she was able to clean without worry of being called in. Opening the door and pulling out clean dishes, she hummed to herself softly and glanced at the clock. _Wow...only an hour has passed since I took him to bed. I should make a quick check in._ Tucking the last clean plate into the cupboard and heading to the bedroom, she opened the door slowly and turned the light on low. Maria instantly smiled to herself just seeing him looking so peaceful as he slept. It was something she never got tired of looking at. She carefully and slowly readjusted the pillow she had placed near his bad shoulder without waking him. Placing a soft kiss on his lips, she turned the light back off and went back to loading the dishwasher.

* * *

Once the dishwasher was loaded and running quietly in the kitchen, Frank sank back down on her couch and started to grab for her book when a sound from the bedroom caught her attention. Moving quickly and opening the door, she saw John was awake and was seemingly trying to sit up for some reason. Maria moved quickly to his side and steadied him once he sat up. "Easy, John. What's the matter?"

He slowly shook his head and rubbed his eyes with his free hand. "I don't know...yet." He inhaled a slow breath and released it very slowly to ease the pain in his back. "I...I think I want to soak in hot water or something close to." He stared at her and said, "Want to help?"

"Of course I would silly," Maria smiled softly, pressing her forehead against his and laughed. "I'll get the bathroom ready for you first off and then I'll help you in, okay?" Placing pillows behind him and making sure he was comfortable enough to be left alone for a few moments while she set up a warm bath for him.

Helping him out of bed and sitting him down on the edge of the tub, she slowly helped him out of his clothes she had left on for him to sleep and eased him into the warm water. Keeping his plastered wrist on her shoulder for support and to keep it from being splashed, he groaned from tightness in his back once he was completely down. "Okay," he dragged out the word slowly, "This may be something to get used to." He gave her a small smile, hiding the slight pain he was feeling.

"If you start splashing like a five year old, you are on your own with this." Maria playfully smirked, raising the sleeve of her pant legs and stepped in so she was able to sit on the edge with her feet soaking in the water. "How are you feeling?"

"Stiff, but just feeling the heat feels great." Munch relaxed his shoulders and hung his head as she started rubbing his back with a washcloth, sighing contently as her hands worked their magic to release some tension. Lathering up the cloth a little more and moving to scrub his shoulders and neck, he raised his head and laid it back against her shoulder. He felt a kiss on his forehead and smiled lazily. _I wonder how long I can go to get away with this care? _He thought to himself, opening his dark eyes and seeing her eyes concentrating on what she was doing before glancing to see him looking at her.

Her face went bright red and smiled shyly - John was the only one who could make her blush just by looking at her. Clearing her voice softly and rinsing out the cloth, Frank reached for the bottle of shampoo and lathered up her hands. "Try not to purr," She whispered softly and started washing his head. Sighing softly and closing his eyes, Munch relished in this care she was giving him and concentrated on her fingers as they massaged his scalp. Feeling her move slightly closer to him, he felt himself starting to stir and Maria chuckling told him she had noticed. "I knew this kind of thing made you happy, but _this_ happy?"

His cheeks went pink and willed it to go away as she started rinsing out his hair with a plastic cup from the kitchen. "I tried, but just feeling your fingers over me is wonderful." He leaned back slowly against her arms and closed his eyes once she started scrubbing again. If he could have stayed right there, under her careful care and in her arms, he would have.

* * *

"I know you love that, John, but all good things gotta end sometime." Maria retorted softly to John when he has stated he wanted her to join him. Knowing how it would lead to something else, Maria placed her hands under his arms and help him to his feet. "C'mon, now. I loved it too and would love to continue with what I was doing, but I can't keep you in the tub forever." She had placed a towel on edge of the tub and sat him down, kneeling down to look him correctly. With Huang's words ringing in her head to just tell him what she dealing with, she wrapped the towel around his waist and chose her words slowly. "John...sweet...there's something I have to tell you."

Munch's dark eyes grazed over with concern and slight worry over what she had to say. "What's the matter?"

"I had a talk with Huang earlier this week and I had said I had been dealing with this huge amount of guilt over what had happened with the accident." She kept her eyes on his to show she could not be afraid to look at him during this time. "I have been struggling looking at you since it happened because of my guilt and fear of not being able to care for you properly since I fear I'll hurt you more."

"The accident wasn't your fault, Maria." He stated firmly, shaking his head. "Nothing you could have done would have stopped it from happening." He observed her carefully when she glanced in a different direction. "Are you doubting your love for me? Are you doubting being in our relationship is only causing more heartbreak?" He kept his voice calm and level, knowing how sensitive she was with these kinds of talks. Years of heartbreak and death in her younger years had her build a wall from all men who tried to get to her. John knew he was the only one was able to break in down and get her emotionally and mentally. But at the same time, he had not been able to keep a relationship to last even one year without in ending in marriage and divorce. He, also, had dealt with broken hearts and crushed dreams.

Maria stood and wrapped her arms around him, being careful of his back and applying pressure to his ribs. "I'm so sorry, baby." She started, crying into his shoulder when his arms wrapped around her waist to comfort her. "I don't want you to think I am leaving you - because I'm not - but I just really need to know none of this is my fault."

"It's not," Munch whispered, moving her slightly so she was partially on his lap. "I promise it's not. Nothing you could have done would have stopped that car from passing in front of us nor would it have stopped me from hitting the car - no matter how hard I hit the brakes." His fingers traced up her back slowly in a soothing motion until she had stopped crying to the point she was hiccuping. "Okay? I'm just concerned over you thinking of quitting or leaving since all we really deal with is traumatic stuff - day in and day out. Why are you not going to work?"

"IAB put me on suspension until they are done going over my cases to see if I am an adequate detective. Half-pay suspension and I can't even enter the building."

"_What_?" John's eyes darkened with anger and couldn't stop gripping her waist too tight, causing her to flinch slightly. "Why would they do that to you? It's not your fault this happened!"

"Because they're asses, John. We all know that and they want to blame someone and it was me since I was the primary." She pulled away once his fingers released their grip on her and she rubbed the area. She knew he didn't mean it and she had expected it, but it was still uncomfortable. "That's what caused me to think all this and I'm sorry I even thought about it. I was told to tell you and I did." Maria wasn't at all angry, just a little irritated all of a sudden. They were both silent in the bathroom for a fair amount of time - Maria standing by the door and John sitting on the edge of the tub air drying at this point. Sighing heavily and sliding down the door to sit on the floor, Maria held her knees close to her chest and rested her head on her knees.

A few more minutes passed by before John instinctively stood up, tucked the towel firmly around his waist and sat down on the towel, trying to get her to look at him without pushing too hard with his wore out body. "Maria?" She kept her head tucked down and he tried again. "Maria, look at me." She raised her head enough for him to see her eyes and he continued, "I am not angry at you nor am I angry at our team. You did what you had to do and there could have been nothing done to stop the accident, baby. Please, don't blame yourself for something you had no control over."

"I'm trying, John." She rested her chin in her knees and sighed heavily. "I'm really trying, but every time I look at you... and the condition you're in, I can't help but think of it."

Munch observed her carefully and wish for that moment, he was well enough to sit right next to her and offer her the support she obviously needed. "I want to help you, Maria. But," He paused until she raised her eyes to him, "But you also need to do something for me."

"What?"

"Stop beating yourself up, sweetheart. I don't blame you and no one else should." He started to stand up, flinched and sat back down. "For now, I need some pain killers before I scream in pain."

Maria moved to her feet and helped him up, slowly moving to the bedroom. Sitting him down, she grabbed helped him slip into some comfortable sleepwear and reached for her heating pad. "Slip this under your back and it should help relax your muscles just a little bit."

"Okay. Can I have an ice pack for my shoulder?" He asked softly, laying down on the heating pad and heard the small 'click' as she turned it on.

"Certainly," She smiled before padding off to get on and returned with the blue colored pack. Maria flexed it roughly to match the contours of his shoulder. "It's been a while since we've used this so they're a little...stiff." She explained, sitting down next to him and gently placing it over his sore shoulder. John sighed contently and closed his eyes once the cold feeling sank into his shoulder and the warmth spread over his back.

Frank slowly and gently wove her fingers through his short hair and almost jumped when his hand touched her thigh. "Lay down with me?" She glanced at the clock and it was getting a little late. Considering she was more of a person to cuddle up against him, she didn't want to harm him when she did join him. Grabbing for her extra pillow and slipping into something more comfortable to sleep in, Maria placed the extra pillow between them and slipped under the covers. "What's with the pillow?" John asked slowly as he began to drift off again.

"It's to keep me from causing unintended harm to you while I sleep." Her fingers gently caressed his worn out face and watched with a sad smile as he drifted off once again. Laying her side and watching his face gradually relax the deeper into sleep he went. Her finger pads lightly touched his skin as they went over his jaw and he heavily sighed. Smoothing the blankets over his body, Maria mentally told herself to stop fiddling with him while he slept. Moving the blankets over her shoulders and wrapping her arms around the pillow, Frank gradually slipped into the much needed sleep.

* * *

Three days later -

"How is he doing at this point?" Olivia Benson sat at Maria's dining table and observed her pour coffee into two mugs. Benson had stopped by at the end of her shift to check on Maria and how she was doing while caring for Munch.

"He's being stubborn with his recovery." Maria sighed, hiding her face within her hands. "He wanted to get up and move around, but as soon as he moved to stand up, he flinched in pain from his back. I had to slip some painkillers and and muscle relaxers into his dinner so he would stop trying to get up and just rest. He's not sore very much anymore, but if he moves the wrong way, his back flips out on him." She took a respectable sip from her coffee and shook her head slowly saying, "If he behaves this evening, I'll help him up tomorrow and let him walk around."

Olivia stared at her mug and thought carefully of her next words. "Look - I'm mostly here to inform you of what IAB is doing."

"I thought they told you all to keep back about what they're doing?"

"I know, but...but I feel you deserve to know since your job and reputation is on the line." Benson leaned in and lowered her voice as if they were being watched. "So far, they have found nothing wrong against you and they have only gone through the first two years since you can to work with us. That one case where you shot one suspect in defense didn't even phase them as you followed the directions to hand in your weapon and made a statement."

"Okay so what's keeping their colons in a bunch?"

Liv sighed and closed her eyes slowly. "They have to go through every single case you did or were involved in."

Frank stood up abruptly and headed in the direction of her bedroom. "I have to check on John...," she muttered, opening the door slowly and walking inside.

Olivia sighed softly and quietly followed her far enough to peek through the crack in the door and see Maria bending down to run her fingers through his hair. With a sad smile, she observed him slowly move where her hand was and could barely hear him whisper to her, hearing her laugh gently. _Why can't I find a person who would love me as much as these two do? _Benson carefully walked back to her seat at the table just as Maria tucked the covers securely around him and waited until Frank sat back down at the table. "I'm sorry if I upset you with what they are doing, Maria. I feel it's something I had to tell you since we work together and I'm worried for your future with us."

"I know you were watching, Liv." Benson's face went slight red and quickly noticed Maria was smiling. "It's okay, I'm not upset about that. It's just...the idea of them going through all those cases I did or were involved in is overwhelming me enough to think of just hanging it up and living the rest of my years in quiet solitude with John. I'm tired of playing this game while trying to help every person who walks through those damned doors with something to complain about."

"Did you tell him what I said?" Liv was feeling slightly nervous with the idea of him knowing what was happening. Maria shaking her head made her blood pressure relax.

"I wouldn't do that. What he had said was he suspected I had drugged his dinner so he would sleep and stop trying to get up. If he remembers he said that when he's fully awake, I will be very surprised." They both shared a small laugh and gradually changed the subject to talking about anything else except the accident and events afterward.

A few hours after chatting about every topic that came to mind, Olivia left with a reassurance everything was going to be okay. Once her door was shut and locked, Maria slowly rolled her eyes, tired of people reassuring her and telling her not to worry. _I've got every fucking right to worry. It's not their lives that are upside down. _She thought bitterly as she opened the bedroom door and laid down. She draped her arm over her eyes and wished for her headache to just leave her alone.

"Hey," John's soft voice made her slightly jump. Sitting up and leaning over the barrier pillow between them, Maria smiled at him and ran her fingers through his hair. "I was beginning to wonder when you would come back in."

"I was just finishing talking with Olivia since she stopped by to see how we were doing." She kept her voice at a low whisper, seeing how he was still very tired looking. "How long have you been semi-awake?"

"Only a few minutes. Did you really drug my dinner so I would sleep?"

Frank laughed softly and said, "Yeah, I was hoping you wouldn't have remembered. I do promise I'll allow you to walk around enough to keep your blood flowing tomorrow. Maybe even sprawl out on the couch and watch a movie or two."

"I'd like that," He muttered softly as he started drifting off again. "I'd like that a lot."

**To be continued...**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: Maria Frank is my own creation and Betsie is named and created after my own late cat. John Munch belongs to Dick Wolf, creator of Law and Order: SVU**

"Keep your hand on my shoulder for grip, all right?" Maria Frank instructed the next morning, after a warm shower and a comforting bath. Keeping her hands under his arms, she counted to three and hoisted him back onto his feet. Keeping one hand on her shoulder and another on her waist, John steadied himself and tried to hide his flinch of pain. Maria noticed it instantly and placed her hand on the back of his neck. "Easy now. You don't need to hide the pain, John. You don't need to hide it from me."

He smiled shyly and switched the subject around. "When was the last time we stood together like this?" He referred to where his hands were located.

"I think the last time we were like this was last month when we danced in your apartment during a day off." She explained softly and stepped back slightly, but didn't move too far away for him to reach for if he was feeling unsteady. "C'mon, let's get you to the living room, settled down and comfortable." Keeping her hands close to him, Maria couldn't help but feel her emotions rise as he moved stiffly - something the chiropractor would take care of for both of them.

Settling him down on the couch and placing comfortable pillows near him to rest his healing hand on, a hand holding her fingers stopped her from moving away to fetch something else. "Stay here with me?" His dark eyes pleaded behind his transitions and Maria could feel herself relaxing for the first time. Shifting a few items around, she sat down beside him and waited for him to move comfortably enough to be close to her. The sound of her sniffling slightly alarmed Munch. "Are you crying?"

"No, just...sinuses."

"Bullshit, Maria," He replied softly. "You're crying." He turned his head and saw her quickly wipe away a tear. Despite the pain in his joints, John wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. Using his other hand to tuck a dark strand behind her ear, he whispered calming words in between her heavy intakes of air. "Easy now, sweetheart. I'm right here," he repeated several times before closing his eyes and resting his cheek on top of her head. It finally occurred to him - she was scared.

"I'm sorry...I just," She paused and pulled away from his arms. Not understanding what she was doing, John watched as she stood up and slowly turned to face him. "I didn't mean for any of that to happen. I've been under extreme stress with what had happened to you and Fin. Not only that, but I've been struggling with these demons of feeling like it was my fault you were hurt." Feeling her legs were starting to shake, she quickly sat down in a chair next to the couch. With her elbows on her knees and her eyes staring at the floor, she started back up. "This hurts me to say this, but because of the accident, it's been hard to...to even look at you because of my guilt. I'm so sorry, John. I'm not doubting my love for you-"

"Are you sure?" He voice was steady, but he gave off the vibe of some hurt.

She lifted her head and her eyes glazed over. "Yes, I love you more then anything, John. If I didn't love you, I would have not felt so awful leaving Baltimore. If I didn't, I would have not been able to think of you every day or even came here to find shelter when Kevin came after me." Maria reached a hold out and took John's. "If I didn't love you as much as I honestly do, I would have not been able to have our son."

His long fingers grasped her hand and asked softly. "How much do you love me?"

"I would give up everything for you, John. My pension, my job, my home - everything. I would kill to protect you because I hate to see any harm come to you." She inched closer to him and could see he was believing her - his clench jaw showed he was holding back his emotions. "Please, could you forgive me for my doubts? Forgive me for my struggles?"

Cracking a small smile, he beckoned her to come closer with his other hand. Once she was close enough for him to reach for, he pulled her down for a hard kiss. Breaking it enough to their faces where only an inch apart, Munch set her straight calmly. "I love you, Maria. I know you have been struggling with everything that has happened, but don't think I can forgive you." She heavily swallowed with fear until he said, "Because there is nothing to forgive."

She drew in a heavy breath and sadly smiled. "Really?"

"Of course," He replied, pulling her back down and deepening to kiss. Moving slowly enough to cause him any discomfort, Maria straddled his lap and placed one hand on the back of his neck while the other leaned against the back of the couch - instead of his shoulder. Hearing the phone ring on the phone stand, she broke the kiss and pressed her forehead against his until the answering machine beeped. "Didn't want to get that, did you?"

Maria inhaled a deep breath and placed her hands on the sides of his neck. "No, the machine got it anyway." She smiled when he placed his hands on her waist and kissed her jaw. "Just have to be a little more patient, dear."

"I know, but I can still crave you."

* * *

"Fin's due to come back to work, John's recovering and Maria's practically grounded... the team is in a wreck." Elliot Stabler brought up during a lunch break with Olivia Benson and Don Cragen. "Probably the only good thing to come out of this is we got the suspect Maria wanted."

Olivia huffed softly while chewing her sandwich. "But he's a nasty piece of work. He asked if the two cops were dead in the accident, I told him no and he said 'pity.' I wish we would talk to Maria about the case since it was her's, but with IAB keeping her tied to the post, all she can do is walk in circles."

Cragen shook his head slightly and leaned forward in his seat. "I know we are under pressure with being three people short. I don't like it anymore then you do, but we have to keep this case going and end it quick - for the three of them. Fin's not even due for the next few days, so don't go throw a party for his return just yet. Do we know who the driver of the other car is?"

"Name's Will Trips and lived in Brooklyn. Records show he had a clean slate up to the point of the accident. There was a piece of paper in his pocket that was found at the time of the accident, but we don't know what it says yet due to the large amount of blood." Elliot replied. "He was a junior at the University of New York and was a straight A student. Family has been notified and we'll let them know when they pick him up."

Benson stood up from her seat and stretched. "I just hope he didn't drive out in front of them on purpose. If he did, I wonder what motivated him to do something like that."

"We'll get to that when we get to that." Cragen eyed her carefully. "For now, I think I'll make a stop at Maria's place to check on them and maybe pick up some 'get well' cookies for John." He stood up, cleared his area and headed out.

Nearing the apartment building, he decided to stop by a bakery and picked up two dozen sugar-free walnut cookies - Maria and John's favorite. With the bag in hand as he neared her apartment door, he stopped as the door opened and Maria stepped out - trash bag in hand. "Hey."

Snapping her head in his direction, she cracked a tired smile and waved him down as she closed the door. "Didn't expect you to stop by today." She said softly as to not awake Munch who slept soundly on the couch.

"I know, but I wanted to check on you two and I brought some treats," He held up the bag and nodded his head in the direction of her apartment. "How's he doing?"

Tossing the trash bag down a trash chute down the hall, she nodded her head with a small smile. "He's getting better every day. I have a chiropractor appointment set for him next week and he has an appointment to check his wrist and shoulder. He's still sleeping most of the day, but I'm expecting that. I moved him to the couch so he can watch me more since he likes to do that and so he can have access to my television. Wish I could move it into the bedroom, but when I tried, it didn't go over well." She had her hand on her doorknob and waved for Don to come in. "Don't be shy to come in. For all I know, he's probably woken up by now."

"How do you figure that?"

She cracked an grin and replied, "Because I walked out." Opening the door and allowing him to enter first, a head popped up from the couch and a groggy John smiled. "I told you he would be."

"How are you doing, John?" Don asked as he sat on the coffee table, watching as he moved slowly to sit up. Seeing the expression on his face, Don had a guess. "Still feeling shitty, huh?"

"Pretty much," He muttered through gritting teeth and sighed heavily when Maria gently rubbed his back. "It's hard to move much of my upper body with my back pain and where my shoulder has to heal. The pain killers are helping, but it's helps to a limit." He eyed the bag in Cragen's hand and waited until he handed it over. Opening the bag and peering inside, he made an approved sound and didn't notice when Maria motioned for Don to follow her.

Moving to stand in the kitchen and making sure he was fully distracted with Don's bag of goodies, she let it out straight. "Please tell me you are not here to tell me that I'm out of SVU or even him for this matter. Please tell me IAB did not figure out our relationship."

"First off - they didn't. They're still looking through your case files. I know I'm not suppose to tell you wants going on, but I believe you deserve to know what's going on with the case and the investigation. At this moment, you both are still employed and they have not found anything that makes you seem like the bad cop. Second - they have no idea about your relationship with him. You two have done a damn good job keeping it covered up and keeping it professional while at your desks and on the streets."

"That's good to know. You wouldn't mind if I told him that later?"

"I have no problem with you giving him that information. Now about the case at hand," He paused as he reached to make himself a cup of coffee. "We have the name of the person who's car they hit. I give you much information, but there was a piece of paper in his pocket that we have yet to figure out what it says from the amount of blood that's obscured the lettering. We have our suspect booked and ready to get everything sorted out for trial, but...," He paused slightly and choice his words carefully. "I have a feeling the dead driver had something to do with it."

Maria tilted her head slightly with curiosity and lowered her voice to a soft whisper. "What do you mean? He planned or was ordered to sit there and cause an accident? How would he have known the direction John would have been driving or where we would be in the first place?"

"I don't know, but I'm sure in Hell going to figure it out and get you back on the team as soon as possible."

"Thank you. That means a lot to be Cap."

"Maria?" John's curious toned voice quickly caught their attention and it made her smile seeing him hold up the bag with a cookie in hand. "Try not to drug these with pain killers, okay?"

She laughed softly and shook her head, glancing at Don. "All right, but you have to behave. When I say 'lay down and stop getting up', I mean it."

"Fair enough." He shrugged as he sank down lower in the couch and flipped the TV on, the sound of him channel surfing was all they heard.

Reaching down to pull out a frying pan from her cupboard, she felt the need to explain his relaxed behavior. "The pills make him extra calm and slightly silly since he's so relaxed. He rarely lays down like that and eats unless he's very relaxed. He can't live of off cookies all day, so I might as well make some real food for him." She reached into a cupboard and pulled out a loaf of bread before freezing, sighing. "Where are my manners? Would you like anything, Don? Coffee? Water? Tea?"

"Do you have any kind of juice?" He reached into her cupboard and took a glass.

She nodded as she turned on her stove and reached for her butter. "Sure do... Help yourself." She grabbed for the sliced cheese, sliced turkey meat and left the fridge open for him to pick his choice. "Would you like a sandwich, too?" She offered as she slapped one buttered piece of bread, stacked on turkey, cheese and another slice of bread.

He smiled as he placed a jug back in the fridge saying, "That would be wonderful. Thank you," and joined Munch, who was still flipping through channels. "How are you doing?"

John sighed heavily and heaved himself up to a sitting position. "Extremely stiff at this point. My shoulder is starting to feel better to the point I can move it without wincing too much, but my back needs some serious cracking. Mar's doing what she can for me with limited sleep and that concerns me."

"She's taking care of you - like you had after her rape." He lowered his voice when he saw her eyes glance over at them. "How bad is she pushing herself?"

John looked down at his plaster-cast wrist and sighed. Raising his head, Don could see the sadness in his eyes. "Too hard, Don. She does everything for me - the slightly notion I make of being in pain and she grabs my meds or turns on the heating pad. When my back spazzes out, she works the tension out of my muscles. She makes all the meals, she helps me in the bathroom, makes my appointments - everything. I want her to slow down and get some decent rest for once."

Don's eyes watched as she flipped over the sandwiches she was making and released a slow breath. "Why do you think she's doing it?"

"Probably because she wants to? She feels the need to? I just want her to relax and let me hold her instead of wearing herself out." Cragen opened his mouth to asked a question and Munch cut him off. "And before you ask, I have a Chiropractor appointment and physical therapy set this week."

"Good because I was going to ask that. You should talk to her later and let her know she's concerning you, John. I've never seen you as one who doesn't make yourself known."

"N'yeah, well. She came out about feeling awful every time she looked at me in my state. I told her I couldn't accept her apology because there's nothing to apologize for. Now, I'm stuck with the same thing except with my concern. I want to tell her, but she's still emotionally fragile."

Seeing her coming near and balancing three plates, Don sat up in his seat and accepted a plate. "Thank you. Are you sure about eating in your living room?"

Frank shook her head, handing John his plate. "Nah, don't worry about it. I'm not my mother - who would stand over me and yell at the slightest sign of a crumb."

Cragen chuckled and shared a look with Munch that said, 'Tell her. She needs to know.' Understanding what he was silently asking, Munch lowered his eyes and knew he was going to have to tell her.

* * *

Later that evening...

Sitting on the edge of the bed and flexing his fingers slowly to test movement of his trapped hand, he turned his head slightly when he felt her come up behind him. "My curiosity is getting the best of me - what were you and Don talking about?" She felt his shoulders tense up slightly and her hands rubbing his back, calming him. "I know you were talking about me, love, and I know that look you have when you're worried."

Munch sat there in silence, the feel of her hands calming him enough to slip into his zen-state. Snapping out of it and heavily sighing, he leaned back into her arms and closed his eyes when she pressed her right cheek to his left. "I just...just want you to take it easy. I see how tired you are all the time with the care I've needed and I want you to take it slow from now on. I'm well enough to get up without struggling too much, I can move my shoulder much better and I'm not even in therapy yet." He felt her face pull away. Turning his head, their eyes connected and her eyes showed she understood. "I'm concerned about you concerning over me."

He waited for her to respond as she continued to look into his eyes. Sighing softly and pressing her lips to his temple, she replied, "I know you're right, John and I'm sorry if I concerned you." She shifted so they were looking face-to-face, but John could clearly see she was upset. "I'm so sorry. I thought I was doing what best I could to keep you comfortable since you had done so much for me after my case."

Reaching his good arm out and pulling her close, he brushed his lips against her cheek and wiped a tear away with his hand. "I'm recovering so well, you don't need to do help me with everything. Not very much anymore, Mar."

"Okay. I guess I'm just trying too hard to help you then. Once I see you holding your own with physical therapy and you can be your old self, It'll make me feel better."

"I know - I was the same way when you were recovering and once you were able to hold your own, I felt so much better." He smiled at her and touched her nose with his finger, making her chuckle. "It's all going to be just fine, Mar. Once I'm working again, you'll be right there."

* * *

Throughout the next two weeks, John's schedule was full with Physical therapy and getting his back adjusted - with Maria driving him to every appointment. Once they found the right time to head in to the hospital and have his cast removed, she could have happily jumped for joy. They watched as the nurse pushed the hand-held saw along the cast and carefully pried the two pieces apart, John flexed his fingers and looked at the very faint scar where they had fixed the small problem. "Wow, that's a faint scar." He looked at Maria who traced her finger over it.

"Yep. If you want, you can use some Scar-Away and it will be barely visible." The nurse said with a small smile as he hopped off the table. "And now, you are all set. Your shoulder has healed and physical therapy is going very well, the chiropractor appointments have readjusted your spine and your wrist is now free."

"Does this mean we can...?" He left that question in the air as the his doctor walked in and looked over his chart. If he gave them the word, they could be able to indulge in their intimate pleasure.

He looked over his chart and made various small notes. After a few minutes, he looked up and said, "Go for it. Mr. Munch, you can return to work tomorrow. But," He warned them with a look, "Go easy at first. Don't do anything rough or involves restrains - take things slow. Within a week, you two can move away from that."

**To be continued...**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer - Maria Frank is my own creation. John Munch belongs to Law and Order: SVU. Adult content. **

Closing the door and locking it firmly, Maria could feel John was getting edgy with wanting some action. Once getting the get go from his doctor and getting permission to return to work, they were both running off of adrenaline and anticipation to feel each other's bare skin again.

The second her fingers had moved away from her door, Munch slipped his arms around her waist and kissed her neck. "Remember John," Maria gasped softly, "We have to take it slow for a little while."

"Uh-huh," He mumbled, turning her around to playfully pulled her to the bedroom - it had more room then her couch in case he needed to stop and lay down during their fun. Weaving his fingers through her hair and kissing her deeply, he gently pushed her down and pinned her down carefully with his body. "My God, I almost forgot you felt this soft," He whispered with a smile, after he had slipped his hands under her shirt and felt her stomach gently.

Maria happily squirmed under him and laughed softly, carefully lifting his shirt over his head and kissed his bare shoulder. "Same here, sweetie," She replied with a grin. "It feels like we haven't touched each other in months, even though it's only been a few weeks." With one gentle push, She rolled them over and straddled his waist. "Frankly, I think I should be on top this time 'round." She grinned a very sly, sexy grin and added, "I can give you more if I'm in control, Sergent."

Munch's breathing started to get heavier once she said that and gripped the sheets since she held him down to stop him from bucking up. Slowly running her hands down his chest and stomach, she shifted back just enough to have room to playfully remove his belt. Undoing it and his pants, Maria moved back up and kissed him while her hand snaked down and caressed him. Groaning deep in his throat, he slipped her shirt off and toyed with her bra hooks. Breaking the kiss, he muttered playfully, "I want this off before I have an aneurysm." Maria giggled and sat up just enough to reach back and slowly undid the hooks.

Once she had removed it and tossed it to the side, she closed her eyes and inhaled a soft gasp when his fingers came in contact with her breasts. Moving back down to his knees, Maria reached behind and pulled his shoes off before taking her's off as well. Now, she was getting ready to play and didn't need their shoes getting in the way. Asking him to lift his hips slightly, she pulled his jeans and boxers down just enough to touch him without his clothes interfering. "Now, I know it's been a while since we've had sex, John," She gently said, her hands caressing him slowly and causing him to whine softly. "So if you feel like you're going to climax sooner then you'd like, let me know. Understand?"

Nodding, John gasped out, "Yes, I got it. Now, please...I can't stand you teasing me like this." Seeing how hot and heavy he was becoming, Maria thought the best thing to do was gently squeeze the base of his erection with her thumb and index finger to hold him off long enough and licked from where her thumb was to the head. Hissing through his teeth, he concentrated on steadying his breathing and enjoy what she was doing. Bending his left knee, he tried to kick off his pants by himself until she noticed and assisted. Pushing his stockings off with her fingers, Maria went back to her fun - slipping her mouth over him and holding his waist from bucking up.

Gripping the sheets until his knuckles turned white, Munch closed his eyes again and moaned loudly. Hearing and feeling her chuckle, he struggled out a smile and reached down to weave his fingers through her hair. Pulling her mouth away from him, Maria took a hold of the hand in her hair and kissed his fingers. "How are you doing?"

"Feel like I'm going to explode, actually." He nervously chuckled and inhaled a sharp breath when she blew softly across the head and muttered, "Keep that up and I'm going to." Feeling her hand softly caress his thigh, he watched as she carefully released him and held his breath, controlling his own body from climaxing. Taking deep breaths, he gazed deeply into Maria's eyes until he fully relaxed.

Smiling when he nodded, she reached into her dresser drawer and pulled out a package and ripped it open. Biting her bottom lip and slyly smiling at him, Frank eased it on and grinned when he tensed up slightly and let out a shuttered breath. "Getting anxious again, baby?" John's face went red and he felt himself grow stiffer - she quickly noticed. "I guess so, then." Straddling him, she kept her hands on his chest and gently lowered herself down on him - her eyes closing happily at the feel of his hands on her hips. "Holy shit, John."

"Are you all right?"

"Yeah," She placed her hands above his shoulders and they kissed as she slowly began to move. They were both in heaven as they made love for the first time in several weeks and it didn't take them long before they were struggling to hang on for a little longer. Wrapping his arms around her back and holding her close, John gently placed a hand on her cheek and kissed her tenderly, causing her to slow and savor their moment. Gazing deeply in each other's eyes and lightly touching their noses like they were nuzzling, Maria took a hold of his hands and held them down by his head and playfully nibbled his neck as she began to move once again.

Within no time, John was groaning deeply and struggling to hold on. Linking their fingers together, he squeezed his eyes shut and arched his back as he climaxed. Breathing heavily, he sucked in a deep inhale and opened his eyes to see her smiling down at him and he noticed she had not climaxed with him. "You didn't...,"

"This was for you, John," She said as she moved off of him, removing the protection and kissing him. Returning from the bathroom with a wet cloth, she cleaned him up as he laid there, drifting in and out. Feeling her fingers go through his hair, he opened his eyes and beckoned for her to lean down to kiss her lazily. Once she was satisfied he was cleaned off enough, she joined him for a small moment.

Grinning to himself, John rolled over to hover over Maria and softly kissed her. Pressing his waist against her's, he couldn't help but smile when she gasped softly and slightly arched her back. Making a trail of kisses and nips down her body, he gently nudged her to spread her legs just enough to allow him access to what he wanted. Trailing his fingers along her the muscles of her stomach to the dip where her legs connect to her hips, he kissed the inside of her right thigh and chuckled when she groaned. "Just breath calmly, Maria. This my thanks to you for everything."

Inhaling a slow breath, Frank ran her fingers through is hair and firmly tightened her grip when he flicked his tongue along his target. "Oh, God!" She squirmed under his hand and moved her hand to gripped the sheets. Only on rare occasions did John do this with her. More then most of the time, it was the other way around, but she was now being held down with a hand on her stomach and feeling wild pleasure that made her plant her feet firmly on the bed and tried to rock her hips. Slipping a hand under her back and feeling the sweat bead along her spine when she arched her back, he chuckled and slipped a finger in. Crying out from this sudden pleasure rocking through her body, she held on as long as she could before her body began to tremble as she climaxed.

Grinning from ear to ear, he extracted his finger and excused himself to the bathroom for a moment. Returning a few minutes later, Maria was practically out cold right where he left her. Pulling the sheet and comforter over her, he slipped under the covers and held her close. Not too long after, her cell rang and Munch answered once he saw it was Cragen. "Hey, Don. Maria's not available at the moment, but I can wake her if you really need to speak with her."

"_Just give her this message, would you? She's been cleared by IAB and can return to work the day after tomorrow. If she would like to be back on the case, she can come see me when she arrives. Okay, John?"_

"She'll be beyond happy to hear this, Cap."

_"I'm sure she will be too, John. I was beginning to wonder if she was ever going to graze my door when her presence again. How are you feeling?"_

"I've been cleared and can return to work."

_"Excellent! This is wonderful news. I'll speak to you both later then!"_

With a click, John closed her phone and hugged her sleeping body close to his with happiness. Life was finally feeling like it was getting back on track.

* * *

Two days later:

Finally back at her desk, Maria Frank felt right at home and John Munch was back at his desk as was Fin, who had been back at work for a few weeks now. Weeks of paperwork was needing to be dealt with, but she managed to get her hands on the case and was looking over what was found; so far, a check had been written out to the deceased man of the accident for a very large sum of money. Where the check came from was beyond them, but she was going to find out. Using her detective instincts and puzzling techniques - something John had taught her - the name on the check was a fake for one and, second, it was an alias for their number one suspect.

A slow and evil grin emerged on Maria's face. "Bingo," She whispered and headed back into the case file to find a link between the deceased and their suspect. _Why can't Benson and Stabler do this? _She wondered to herself, but shoved it aside. She could cause them grief later as they were out on another case that kept them from the station house. "Cap!" She headed right to Don's office with what she had found and placed the files down her desk, pointing to what she had found. "I found a link between our suspect and the deceased from the accident."

"Point it out," he said with a wave of his hand. Leaning over his desk, he watched and listened to her explain for an hour of what she had found and an educated guess she had in her mind. "Looks like you have an idea of what's going on then." He commented once she concluded.

"What me to bring him in?"

"Go for it."

* * *

An hour later, Maria Frank had their suspect in the interrogation room next to Don's office with her plan wheeling through her head like a water wheel in a rapid river. All the information she had to break the case and put this man in jail was right in her hands and she wanted no one else to go into the room since this man was her prey. In Don's office, the detectives were waiting and watching before the fireworks started up. Fin and John stood next to each other - a scar barely visible on Fin's forehead from his head injury and John looking down at the scar from his wrist surgery. They wanted to get in there themselves and go bad cop on his ass, but Don ordered them to stay put and let Maria take charge.

Taking a deep breath, she walked in with her best fake smile and said, "Evening."

"What's the purpose of bringing my client back in here?" His lawyer asked before she could have said anything else.

"To place him under arrest for rape, attempted murder and conspiracy to commit murder."

The suspect looked up at her with an expression of disgust. "What 'conspiracy' are you talking about? I didn't cause that accident the night I was arrested."

Maria tilted her head with a quizzical look. "I didn't say anything about a car accident. Did I?" Both suspect and lawyer fell silent. "However, since you brought it up, I would love to talk about that. See, the person who was driving the car that was hit died at the scene. Actually he died instantly, but our coroner found something very interesting in his pocket." She opened the file and showed them a crime scene photo of the piece of paper. "A check of seven hundred thousand with his name and it's written in your handwriting. See, the weird thing is, the person who died was a promising college student with a bright future and here he is...getting involved with your stuff for a money. Now, why would he have a check from you?"

The trim and sharp lawyer held up a hand and tapped the photograph. "What, what about a deal?"

"There is no deal on the table. Not only do I have this wonder check, but I also have your fingerprints on a note you had sent to our deceased college boy with the address and where to hide the night of the accident. How did you find out about the stakeout that night?" He leaned back in his chair and frowned. "Either talk or you can be walked out of here with handcuffs and waiting for your day in court. Once you leave this room, I have nothing to say to you and will not listen to what ever you want to say."

"Fine! Okay, I have a friend who's a cop and he overheard you guys talking about the stakeout. I told the dead fuck where to go and where to hide. Those cops still alive?"

"Of course they are. Airbags work wonders, don't they?"

His eyes narrowed a little and he snapped out. "Stupid fuck was suppose to hit the driver's side of the car and make it look like an accident. But, no. He had to move too soon and was hit instead." He finally confessed in one breath and Maria's eyes narrowed. "That's how it was suppose to be. I'll serve my time and I'll get out in twenty."

Maria laughed to herself and stood up, taking the photographs and placing them back in the folder. "Hardly. With the number of rule-breaking crimes you've done - including putting two of New York's finest in the hospital - you'll be going away longer then twenty." Hand on the doorknob, she turned and added, "There's this song from a band I like called Within Temptation . The song is called 'Hand of Sorrow' and one line that's been repeating in my mind that asks 'will all our sins be justified?' and I still wonder to myself will mine be. But for your sins? No." With one last look, she walked out, leaving the arresting officer to take him away.


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer - Maria Frank is my creation. All others belong to Law and Order: SVU.**

"What did you mean, 'all our sins will be justified'?" John asked later that night over drinks at her place. After she had left and the suspect was arrested, she went back to working on her files and finished her paperwork on the case.

"You've heard the song, right?" He nodded and she continued. "That song has...always reminded me of you and I. It's basically us working and keeping our relationship a secret. The sins being justified is literally, in my translation, everything I have done wrong with everything in my life will be turned right." She drank down her alcohol and motioned for him to pour her another drink, refilling his halfway. "What that man had done - paying a man to hit the car you were driving and planning for him to hit the side of the car you were on - will not be justified." Her voice broke in emotion and her chin began to tremble. "You would have been seriously injured or killed if it had gone through as planned."

"I know," Munch whispered as it dawned on him. He didn't really understand it earlier in the day, but he was too busy watching her work like a well oiled machine to fully understand what could have been his fate. "But that didn't happen and I'm still here with you, Mar."

She nodded and drank down her second drink in one swallow. "Give me another, 'kay?" He didn't put up the bottle and she glanced up at him. "John, I'm trying to get good and drunk so we can get down to business and I have numerous climaxes for later."

"Do you think that's really wise? Getting drunk and then having sex?" He asked softly, watching her trying to drown her sorrows.

Her shoulders slumped forward and she stared up at him with sad eyes. "Probably not, but I want to forget the image in my head of you on Warner's table." She chuckled in disbelief for herself. "I just...I have done so many stupid things that I believed were justifiable. I was on the streets after escaping to Boston and got high as a kite with drugs to forget my woes. I thought that was right since my mother murdered my father in a fit of rage and she did what she thought was right. Course, she killed herself right after, so that left me stuck in a rut."

Picking up the bottle, John held up two fingers an inch apart to show he was only going to give her that much. She nodded and accepted her filled glass from him. "I've done a lot of shit in my life too, Mar. I thought they were the right things, just like you did."

Drinking the liquid down, she placed her glass on the counter top and John reached for a bottle of water for her to drink down, while he continued with his own drink. "Guess sex is out of the question tonight?"

"Of course not. I just want you to drink water so you can sober up a little faster as the night goes on. I'm feeling up for something a little more rougher then the usual tender love we do." He softly said, leaned against the counter with his face inches from her's. "How 'bout it?"

Taking a generous sip from the bottle, Maria raised her eyebrows at his offer and giggled. "Sounds like a plan, babe. Let's go test out your new cracked back."

Jumping from her seat, she took a hold of his tie and headed in the direction of the bedroom.

End!


End file.
